Tooi Kono Yume de (In this Distant Dream)
by Kikiam
Summary: A fanfic about Mito and Jin's childhood made complicated by Hisoka's presence as one of their childhood friends. Credits go to Ilumi and Cielo-chan for ideas and comments, respectively. Please review.
1. Lost and Found

Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream)  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-7  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
Gon: Hontou ka, Mito-san? *faints*  
Killua: Oiya, Gon! *shakes Gon-chan awake*  
Mito: He knows Hisoka-kun?  
Killua: Yeah. That freak keeps on molesting him. *continues to shake Gon awake* Yo, Gon!  
Hisoka: *pops out of nowhere* Too sad! Which one will I choose, Mito-chan or Gon-chan?  
Killua: Shaddap, pedophile! Gon is mine! *claws come out*  
Kurapica: *pops out with Leo-kun* At least nobody interferes with our relationship, Koi*... (*love)  
Leorio: Sou da ne... *bends down to give Kura a kiss*  
Killua: eeeyuck... *pukes*  
HIsoka: Oh? Gon-chan is taken? I don't think I can accept that... *takes out his cards*  
Mito: Hey, no fighting!  
Hisoka: Sou ka? Ahh! I know! Let's have a contest on who will wake Gon-chan first!  
Killua: What the f***? *watches Hisoka in wonder*  
Hisoka: Ahhh... Sleeping Handsome Gon-chan... *bends down threateningly to the unconscious Gon's face*  
Machi: *pops out of nowhere just like everyone else and ties a string around Hisoka's neck* Baka oyaji...  
Hisoka: Machi-san? Ogenki desu ka?   
Machi: *tightens the strings around Hisoka's neck*  
Hisoka: *starts to become strangled* Tasukete, Mito...  
Mito: Hisoka-kun! Wait! I'll call for help! Hold on!  
Machi: *grits her teeth then glares at Mito*  
Mito: *glares back*  
--- chotto matte kudasai! ahh! a showdown between mito and machi! kakkoii!!! funny, gon would side with a member of the kumo to make sure hisoka never touches his beloved Mito-san... hehehehehe... but hisoka might disregard the idea and continue molesting gon. nyaknyaknyaknyak....  
oh, well, kore...  
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Tooi Kono Yume de   
Chapter One  
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The night was without the moon and only a few stars gave their light. Darkness surrounded the forest that I have been looking at since sunset. The wind blew, giving a slight chill. I trembled a bit. Worry was clearly written on my face, like it could be read a thousand miles away.  
But *he* wouldn't be able to read it, just as his father had been.  
I tightened the wrap of the coat around my shoulders. It was probably around seven o'clock. Usually, it wouldn't be cold at this time of the night, but the fact that Gon was missing seemed to decrease the temperature by several degrees.   
"Mito, it's time to eat dinner," my mother called.   
I looked at where my mother was and saw that she didn't have the same worried look on my face. It quite annoyed me that she wasn't worried or nervous about her grandson.  
"I'll eat later, when Gon arrives," I answered then returned my gaze to the window.   
"You worry too much about that child," she said.  
"But Mother, he's only nine years old! Only God knows what's happening to that child!"  
"He's Jin's son."  
"That's what worries me!" My voice was raised. I suddenly covered my mouth, and realized that I was almost shouting. My mother smiled.  
"Gomen nasai," I apologized.  
"It's all right," my mother waved ger hand to prove her forgiveness. "I was that worried, too, when you were missing in the forest."  
"I was much younger then, Mother," I said, almost smiling to myself in recollection.  
"We were all so worried searching for you, but then only Jin would surely do..."  
I turned my back upon hearing Jin's name. 'Jin...' the name repeated in my mind. I hate him. He left all of us in Whale Island without even a word on where he was going. He left my sister, his wife, barely fulfilling his duties as a husband. And most of all he left his son with us, my beloved Gon.  
Perhaps I really had the right to call him mine. My sister died upon Gon's birth, and Jin handed the baby to me. Since then, I was the one who fed, dressed, and taught the child. He recognizes me as his mother, although he calls me Mito-san. But I never told him of Jin, fearing that he'll follow the footsteps of his worthless father.  
But do I really hate him this much?  
My heart ached to see Jin again, his bright eyes, his cheerful smile. There was a time when I thought I was in love with him, and I felt a little biterness when he married my sister Maya instead of me. I felt happy, though, because Jin stayed with us for almost a whole year. He told me about his problems that he couldn't tell the soft-hearted Maya. I could tell, though, that he was very happy with their marriage.  
It wasn't all that happy, there was Hisoka...  
"Mito?" my mother called me softly. I realized that I had become lost in my thoughts.  
"Just a while ago you were terribly worried about Gon, and now you're thinking about something else," she added with a smile. "I'll wait for Gon. Go and take a bath."  
I smiled back. "Thank you, Mother." I went off and headed to the bathroom.  
The soft scent of soap wafted across my nose as I entered. I opened the faucet to fill the tub with hot water. When it reached around four-fifths of the tub, I filled it with cold water. I dipped my hand into it, and tried to decide if it was just right.  
Perfect.   
Maybe the fraction of cold and hot water was similar with my feelings for Jin. I hate him, yet I love him. The hot water was probably my love, and the cold water was my hate. I sighed, then started to take off my clothes. As I opened the top buttons of my blouse, I felt the green choker I always wore around my neck.   
Memories flashed across my mind. Jin... Maya... myself, and of course, Hisoka.  
I went into he tub. I left the choker on top of the pile of clothes.  
The water felt good against my skin, yet I shivered.   
------------------------  
I was born when both Maya and Jin were four years old. Of course I could recall almost nothing of my first three years, but it's easy to say that Jin and Maya had been together since they were in diapers. They always played together, and sometimes would come home late from the forest, playing games all day long. It was still early, but our parents thought that Jin and Maya were a good match. Jin was outgoing and adventurous, while Maya was introvert and careful. It was a nice contrast.  
Hisoka was a year younger than them. He played with them, too, but he was always left out. He was still Jin's male best friend, though, and would be his greatest rival. He was also something like Jin, but he was reckless. He did everything on impulse. He always lied to his elders. He was a bad boy, but Jin always made up for whatever Hisoka lacked.  
Hisoka had to wait for around four years to find a playmate who wouldn't leave him out, and that was me.   
I was four years old when Mother told Maya to bring me along with them. She obliged. Jin frowned a bit when he saw me.  
"Mito-chan's coming?" he asked. He carried his fishing rod over his left shoulder.  
Maya nodded. "Ikou yo, Jin-chan," Maya said, holding my hand.  
"Hey, wait!" It was Hisoka, running towards us.  
"You're late again, Hisoka," Jin said.  
"Hmp..." he grumbled, and rasied his nose in the air. "I woke up late, that's all." He then noticed my presence. "Ara, Mito-chan!" he said gleefully.  
I looked at him puzzled.  
"Why's she coming, Maya?" Hisoka aksed.  
"Our mother told me to. I think it would be nice if Mito-chan would play with us. At least she won't be in the way of our parents' work."  
"Sou da ne," Jin said, but still seemed to have a reluctant tone in his voice.  
Hisoka was the opposite. He grabbed my hand from Maya's and placed his face near mine. His light blue hair touched my orange strands, and his eyes looked brightly into my orbs.  
"I'm Hisoka, and we'll play all day long."  
"Hisoka-kun," Maya almost scolded.  
"Don't worry, Maya," Hisoka said. "Mito-chan will be all right with me."  
"C'mon, you two," Jin called.  
Maya left me with Hisoka and went to walk with Jin. She was probably the only one who trusted Hisoka this much, and maybe Jin.  
The walk to the forest was long for me, considering that I was around half their ages. Maya and Jin seemed to walk too fast, while Hisoka walked with me. We finally arrived at the forest.  
It was my first time there, and it was beautiful. The cerulean sky peeped through the canopy of the forest. Rays of sunlight passed through small holes between the branches of the trees. There were different smells that wafted across my nose. Small animals ram across our feet and made sounds so different from those at home.  
"So what game will we play?" Jin asked, looking around.  
"Hide and seek," Hisoka answered, still tightly gripping on my hand.   
Jin shook his head. "Mito-chan can't play that game yet," Jin pointed out.  
During that time, I haven't understood much what Jin was saying. I just kept quiet.  
Hisoka objected. "Mito-chan can play with us, ne, Maya?"  
Maya didn't know who she would agree with, so she answered, "I g-guess s-so..."  
Jin shook his head hard. "No, no, no. Let's think of another game."  
"Hide and seek is perfectly fine," Hisoka said.  
"No, it wouldn't be," Jin stood on his ground. They glared at each other. A fight was beginning to ensue.  
"Hey, don't fight, you two!" Maya broke the tension between the two. "I think it's okay for Mito-chan to play hide and seel with us."  
A long silence followed. Jin looked straight into Maya's eyes. After a few moments, Jin raised his nose in the air and folded his arms across his chest.   
"Fine then," he said with an arrogant tone. "Go ahead, play. I'm going to fish."  
But Jin-chan," Maya said. He was about to go after him.  
"Leave him alone," Hisoka stopped her. "Let him be. We'll just play hide and seek and have fun. Ne, Mito-chan?"  
"But..." Maya protested, but decided to go with Hisoka.  
We did play hide and seek, even without Jin. It was a fun game. At first it was Maya who was It. Then it was me. Then it was Hisoka's turn.  
"...seven, eight, nine, ten!"  
I heard Hisoka's voice, but I still haven't found a good hiding place. I panicked and ran down the hill, I wasn't sure how far. I found a big, old tree with a hole near the root. I quickly went inside, and waited and waited...  
During the time I waited, Hisoka had already found Maya who hid behind a nearby tree. After that, Hisoka searched for me.  
I couldn't remember anymore how long I waited, and eventually fell asleep. When I awoke, it was already dark.  
I was scared to death. There I was inside the hole, a four-year old girl trapped in the darkness. The beautiful sounds of the morning were replaced by horrible howls of the night. There was no moon, and most of the stars were covered with clouds. I looked at the sky helplessly.  
"Help..." I whispered to myself. Until now, I still don't know why I didn't shout. Did I know that nobody would find me? Did I have a feeling that it was hopeless? Did I give up?  
I started to cry hard. I cried and cried. My clothes were wet with tears. My eyes were already swollen and my cheeks were stained. At the same time, I felt cold... and alone.  
---------------  
Hisoka and Maya tried their best to find me. They spent the whole day searching for me.   
"Mito-chaaan! Mito-chaaan!" both of them called. They didn't search very far, though. Their knowledge of the forest wasn't very deep, and they might get lost just as I did. The morning search was fruitless.  
When noon came, they went back to the village and told the adults. Now, the whole village searched for me.  
It was almost sunset, yet they haven't found me.  
The adults told Hisoka and Maya to wait by the river outside the woods. Maya was worried while Hisoka was angry.  
"Shoot!" he punched the trunk of a tree.   
"Calm down, Hisoka," told Maya. "I just hope they'll find Mito-chan soon."  
Hisoka gave another punch. His fist started to bleed.  
"Hisoka!" Maya examined the damaged fist. "You shouldn't have done that." She then ripped the right sleeve of her blouse and tied it around the bleeding area.  
Hisoka blushed. He never expeceted her to do such a thing except for Jin, perhaps. He was about to say thank you when they heard a voice humming on the other side of the river.  
"Who in the world is that?" Hisoka asked. He looked at where the sound was coming from, and saw Jin fishing. Jin was leaning on a tree while holding the fishing rod in his hands. A straw hat covered his eyes.   
"Jin-chan!" Maya called. She and Hisoka ran towards him.  
Jin raised his head. "Ara, Maya-chan, Hisoka!"  
"There you are," Maya wanted to go across the river to Jin, but the current was too strong.  
Jin smiled. "Stay there," he said. There were several rocks above the water. JIn jumped on one of them the next one was too far.  
"Don't do that," Maya called worriedly.  
"Hey, Jin," Hisoka shouted alarmed.  
Jin grinned and then jumped for the next rock. Both Maya and Hisoka breathed a sigh of relief. But the next wand last rock was even farther.  
Jin jumped, and reached the riverbank.  
Upon his arrival on the other side, he rubbed his nose and grinned. "Piece of cake."  
"You had me worried sick," Maya complained.  
Hisoka looked away. "Hah, show-off..."  
"Was not," Jin gave Hisoka a pat on the back. "'Sorry 'bout this mornin' pal."  
Hisoka smiled, then remembered Mito. "Oiya, Jin. Mito-chan is misisng."  
"I know."  
Maya started to cry. The smile on Jin's face disappeared. "It was my fault. I should have watched her more carefully."  
Hisoka looked at the ground. He told me a few years later that he felt it was his fault, since he was the one who wanted me to play with them. But he kept quiet during that time.  
Jin put his arms around Maya's shoulders. "Oi, stop crying, Maya-chan. Nobody's blaming you."  
"It's my fault, Jin! It's my fault that Mito-chan is missing," she continued to sob.  
"Fine then," Jin said. "If seeing Mito will make you stop crying, then I'll find her."  
"Hey, Jin," Hisoka interrupted. "Don't you think that's a bit ambitious? Even the adults can't find her."  
"Hah!" Jin said. "All they do is shout for Mito's name. They're too superstitious to look deep into the forest."  
"Jin-chan, don't say that," Maya said.  
"I'll say and do whatever I want," Jin said. He picked up his fishing rod and started to walk towards the forest.  
"Hey, Jin!" Hisoka called after him.  
"Daijobu da yo!" he shouted. Hisoka and Maya helplessly watched him disappear into the trees.  
--------------------  
I was still crying. I could barely see anything. I was hungrey, since I had skipped both lunch and dinner. Some parts of my dress were torn and I had insect bites and scratches on different parts of my skin. My hair was all messed up.  
I didn't know how long I remained in this situation, but after a while, I saw something.  
An outstretched hand was in front of me. It was not very big, but it seemed strong. It had some scratches on it. I stared at the hand, then looked at the face who owned it.  
The face smiled. It was Jin.  
"I finally found you, Mito."  
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~tsuzuku~  
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p.s. whooppee!!!! ccc's please! it's been a long time since i last wrote a fic! i can imagine the hot jin freecs in this fic, but what the heck. i invented maya.  
btw, thanks to illumi for the idea. should i continue with this one? please answer that question.   
i think the fic can be considered a one-shot, but i have more complicated plans for this fic...  
i have a leorio fic in mind, too... aaww, man, too much things in mind. what should i do?  
  
eniweiz, ja!  
kikiam-sama  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
. . . h o t a r u . . .   
http://kikiam.envy.nu/  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 


	2. Departure

Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream)  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-7  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
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Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter 2  
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"I finally found you, Mito."   
The words echoed in my head. I love them, and I they will never be forgotten in my heart. Those words have taight me so much in my life. One of them was love.  
After Jin miraculously found me in the forest, the village proclaimed him a hero. My parents were more than glad that someone like Jin found me, instead of some creature in the forest. There was generally a happy atmosphere in the place. We were all proud of Jin, or so I thought.  
We were punished, of course, even Jin. The four of us were banned from the forest for a week. They (Hisoka, Maya, and Jin) were required to help in the plantation while I stayed at home. It made no difference to me back then. It was my first time, anyway. The three of them grumbled a bit, but they obeyed.  
No one was blamed, although a few villagers commented on Hisoka.  
Yes, Hisoka was impulsive and a liar, but the elders said that there was a reason behind that. Hisoka's mother was killed upon giving birth to him. His father, Teren, was a drunkard and he couldn't care less about what Hisoka does.   
Most of the kids in the village first made fun of Hisoka, until Jin beat up all of these kids. I could never give the full details of this story. Maya only told them about me.  
"Like father, like son," I heard one of our neigbors say to our mother.  
The week passed, and we were free to play again. We played hide-and-seek and I got lost a lot of times. During those times, only Jin could find me. Even if the whole village searched and searched, only Jin knew the answer to where I was.  
And many times did I hear those beautiful words. "I finally found you, Mito."  
A kind of childish love grew inside me. Jin gave me happiness, and made me look forward to each day. I don't know, if it was *that* kind of love or the love for an older brother. I guess it's something between the two. I was happy whenever he looked my way, whenever he gave me a smile, whenever he held my hand... I was happy, too, when he pats my head, teases me about my flat nose, and my inability to find them when we play hide-and-seek.   
I never knew, though, that Maya felt differently from me. And Jin had the same feeling with her...  
It was this feeling that sometimes left me out. I always wanted to be with Jin whenever we played, but he always wanted to be with Maya. During these times, there was Hisoka.  
Hisoka helped me catch up with them. He stayed with me whenever Jin and Maya wanted to be alone together. He taught me many things, including playing pranks and the like. Of course, we were caught and punished, but it was all for the fun of it. He made me laugh when I was crying. He made me smile when I frowned. He made me happy when I'm sad.  
A different feeling inside me grew for Hisoka. Quite similar to how I felt for Jin, there was admiration and happiness. But it was different. I don't know what the difference was, but it surely wasn't the same.  
Four years passed. They were short but wonderful years. It is true that time feels so short when you're having a good time. Those four wonderful years were probably the best in my whole childhood. I was happy. We went to the forest everyday, and we played differemt games, although hide-and-seek was still our favorite. My love for Jin and Hisoka both grew. But it was quite undeniable that Maya and Jin had the same growing feeling for each other.  
I was quite jealous. I wanted Jin, and there was my big sister, taking him right in front of my eyes. I couldn't tell if Hisoka was jealous, too. It was obvious that he liked Maya, with the many times he tried to impress her with his skill in playing cards. But I guess Jin's skill in fishing was more impressive.  
It was the day for Maya's twelfth birthday. We didn't go to the forest that day, except for me, though. I knew Maya was helping with the preparations, while I gathered some flowers. I wanted to make a wreath for her as a gift.  
It was already high noon by the time I finished gathering the flowers. I lay on the grass to res, but the sun was too hot. I sat up. Something caught my eye.  
It was Jin, he was sitting underneath a nearby tree, with a straw hat covering his face. His fishing rod was right beside him. It was one possession he never let go of.  
"Jin!" I called. He didn't hear me at first, until I called him for a second time.  
He raised his head. "Ara, it's you, Mito-chan." He smiled.  
I felt myself become excited. Jin talked to me! He smiled at me! I ran towards him with the flowers in my hands.  
"What are you doing here?" he asked me.  
"I'm gathering flowers to make Maya a gift," I answered.  
The smile disappeared on his face, then looked away. I wondered why, but I decided not to ask.   
We just sat there for a while. He suddenly asked, "what do you plan to make?"  
"Uumm... a flower wreath."  
"That's nice," he commented. The smile returned to his face. "Okay, then, I'll help you make one."  
"Okay," I replied cheerfully. I handed him the flowers I gathered. I watched him as he skillfully twisted the branches into a circle and then picked off some grasses from the ground. He wound them into the circle of flowers and formed a simple yet beautiful design.  
"Here you go," he said, and then placed it on my head.  
"Thanks," then the wreath fell to my nose.  
Jin laughed. "It's too big on you..."  
"You're making fun of me," I retorted.  
He continued to laugh. I felt my face turn beet red.   
He must have noticed, because he stopped laughing. "Don't worry much, Mito-chan. Sooner or later, it'll look great on you."  
I blushed again, this time my face was a light shade of pink. He noticed this, too. He laughed again.  
After his laughing subsided, he gave me a pat on the head. "Be sure to give that to Maya. okay... and greet her for me, too." The smile on his face disappeared. He stood up.  
"Why, Jin? Haven't you greeted her yet?"  
"No..."  
"Then greet her at the party tonight," I said.  
"I can't."  
"Why?" My innocence back then could not make out what he was planning.  
"I'm leaving tonight. I'm going to be a Hunter."  
I was shocked that I couldn't speak for a while. I had heard of Hunters beofre. Who wouldn't?   
Why would he leave? And why now, just when things have been going perfectly? Had he told Maya about this? What would Maya say, just in case?  
I managed to regain myself after a few seconds. "But Jin..."  
Jin smiled at me. "Don't worry, Mito-chan. It's going to be all right." He patted me on the head. I looked at him with angry eyes. I hate him for leaving.  
He took his hand off my head. "See ya." He started to walk away. I didn't notice before that he already had a backpack with him. There was his fishing rod, of course, and he was wearing boots instead of his usual slippers.  
I couldn't stand to see him walk away. I called after him. "Jin! Jin! Don't leave!" I wasn't crying. I was angry. Tears didn't fall. There were no sniffs or such, only the sound of angry shouts and tiny clenched fists.  
Jin started to run until he disappeared into the trees. I angrily kicked the tree, then I punched it. I continued to bring my anger upon the innocent thing. After a few minutes, I stopped. I looked up at the tree. It said nothing, it just continued to wave its branches lazily with wind. I hated it. I despised the fact that the tree didn't fight back.  
And with that, I began to cry.  
It was time for the party. We held it in the humble bar we own. It was usually dull and dark, but tonight, different sights, smells, and sounds filled the place. The place was decorated with colorful flowers. The delicious food invited everybody to have fun and forget about our daily troubles just for that night. Everybody talked joyously, especially about Maya.  
Maya was beautiful that night. She wore the wreath I gave. Her hair flowed down her shoulders. Mother also made her wear a bit of make-up. She wore a new dress our mother made herself. It was colored red, with a stiff collar that went up to her neck. It sleeves were short. The dress fit tightly around her body and went down until her ankles. For her feet, Mother bought her high-heeled sandals from downtown Kujira.  
I was bit jealous. I wore a new dress, too, but my sandals had low heels and I didn't have any make-up on. I felt ugly.  
Almost everyone from the village came, except for a few people. Two of them were Jin and Hisoka.  
I knew about Jin, although they thought I didn't. Maya just sat quietly at the center. She was trying to show a cheerful face, but she failed. Our mother noticed.  
"What's the matter, Maya-chan? Aren't you happy?" she asked.  
"I'm happy, but..."  
"Ah, Jin and Hisoka aren't here?"  
Maya nodded.   
"Don't worry. They'll come."  
It was useless. I knew he'd never come. I knew Jin better than anybody else. He was strong-willed. Nothing would make him change his mind once he had set his mind on something. She continued to look down.   
Everybody continued to feast, except for me and my sister. Well, at least I pretended to. I was chatting with the girls my age in the village. They were fun to be with, but different.   
Jin's mother approached Maya. She should have noticed, too. Well, who wouldn't? Nobody just asked because they thought it was offensive.  
Mrs. Freecs probably knew of Jin's plans. She didn't look too happy, either. As for Jin's father, he was an ordinary fisherman in the village. He wasn't present, too. He probably wasn't pleased with Jin's departure, as well.  
I saw Maya smile, too. It was forced.   
The door suddenly opened.   
"Minna-san!" a voice called from the door. It was one of the villagers. He was sweating and panting hard. The look on his face was fearful. Everybody quieted down. The music stopped.  
"What is it?" our father asked him.  
"It's Hisoka... he..."  
"He what?" asked another.  
"...he... killed..."  
"No way," I heard Father say.  
"He killed Teren."  
My father quickly ran out of the bar with some other men. I tried to follow them, but my mother stopped me. My mother told me to to go to bed.  
I was told the next day what happened.  
They found Hisoka in their hut. He didn't run away after killing his father. In fact, he was there. Some villagers who weren't at the party heard what was going on before Hisoka committed the dreadful act.  
Hisoka and Jin had long ago planned to become Hunters. They had a secrey pact that both of them would pass the Exam together. On their last day in the village, which was also Maya's birthday, they planned to say their good-byes. Hisoka told his father, but Teren told him he couldn't go. An argument followed. It was heard by some villagers that afternoon. The few who weren't in the party heard what followed after the argument.  
"I"m not allowing you," Teren said. His words were a bit slurred.  
"But Oyaji, since when did you not allow me?" Hisoka asked. He wasn't angry yet.  
"Now."  
"But I have to. I promised Jin."  
"You made promises?"  
"Yeah, I did."  
"How can you make promises when you know that you couldn't keep your word?"  
"I always keep my word. And I am, I mean, was sure you'd allow me."  
"Foolish brat! Don't make such stupid promises wihtout my knowledge!"  
"I made dozens of promises without you knowing it already! And I've kept my word on all of them!" Their voices were raising.  
They heard silence, but figured out that Teren was getting his whip to beat his son.  
Hisoka's voice was heard again.  
"And since when would you care about the promises I made?!"  
"What did you say?" Teren's anger had been aroused.  
"You never cared! That's why I wanna get outta here!"  
"You never will!" They heard the first lash. Hisoka screamed in pain.  
The neighbors villagers tried to stop listening. They wanted to tell the others about it, but they were afraid of Teren's wrath.  
Terrible sounds came after the other. It was terrible, as they said. They never heard such cries from a child before. One who passed by their door saw a few drops of blood splash near their doorway.  
The screaming probably went for two hours. Most of the villagers had already gone to the party. Only a few were left.   
Teren's curses made it worse.  
"You brat!"  
"You foolish kid!"  
"Spineless child!"  
"You're a fool, just like your mother!"  
The villagers said that after Teren said this, Hisoka's screaming stopped. They later heard Teren scream. They were too afraid to look, though.  
After a few minutes, everything was quiet. When thirty minutes passed, they thought of checking out what happened. The two probably stopped arguing.   
They went to the hut and stood by the doorway. They were horrified at what they saw.  
Teren's throat was slashed open as he lay lifelessly on the floor. Hisoka sat nearby, with his head in his hands. Blood stains were all over him, on his skin, on his hair, and on his clothes. Dark stains of red were all over the floor.  
"Hisoka-kun..."  
It was a terrible sight. They tried to call his name again.  
Hisoka raised his head. He looked at them with an evil smile. They said that his eyes had become different, as if the life had gone out of them. But the look on his face was still evil.  
His right arm was bleeding. Hisoka licked the blood coming out of the wound.  
"Hisoka-kun! What happened?" they asked him.  
Hisoka stood up, with his head down. He approached the villagers. He looked at them with eyes hungry for blood, thirsty for death. No longer was his innocence as a child there. Ecerything had changed: his heart, his mind, and his soul.  
They ran. Hisoka had become a killer. While people feasted in our bar, they raced for their lives  
Only one survived to tell us the story. Hisoka killed the rest of them.   
It was terrible. I cried when I heard the story. I cried out loud, just like the child I was. I didn't understand? Why was this happening? First, Jin left, and now, Hisoka became a killer. I was confused. The world wasn't as kind as I first thought. It wasn't fair.  
Why?  
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~Tsuzuku~  
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P.S. That's it for the second chapter. I can't remember Mito's flashback episode very well so this is prone to errors regarding the events. Please correct me if possible. Thanks.  
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ja,  
kikiam-sama  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .   
. . . h o t a r u . . .   
http://kikiam.envy.nu/  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . 


	3. A Friend's Determination

Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) 3/?  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-7  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
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Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter three   
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Life took a sudden change ever since that fateful night.  
When my father and the other men arrived, they saw nothing but dead bodies. Even Hisoka's body seemed lifeless, too. Fortunately, though, he just fell unconscious. Maybe it was due to the terrible beating he received.  
Hisoka was brought to town next day for a trial. In Kujira, even the youngest are brought to court. We never heard of the punishment they gave Hisoka. Many times, my father went there to ask about him, but he nevr found anything out from these trips to town.  
As for Jin, he never showed up. I told Maya the next day what I knew about Jin. She was greatly saddened. If I could remember right, I think she cried for two days straight. She remained in her room, eating and drinking nothing at all. We all tried to comfort her, but our efforts proved futile. How can we give her comfort when we ourselves need it?  
Maya recovered after a week. Since then, we never played in the forest again. Maya and I stayed in the village, doing household chores and stuff. I played with dolls with some girls in the cillage who were the same age as I. It was the most terrible time of my life. I don't want to offend those girls, but honestly, they weren't very fun to be with.  
One month passed. Days were long. We were all restless, waiting for somethign to break what has now become a monotonous life.  
I was sitting at the outskirts of the village that day. Ever since Hisoka and Jin were gone, Maya and I stopped playing in the forest. We concentrated on household chores and learning to be good housewives. It was late afternoon, then. I was viewing the sunset when I heard a familiar voice.  
"Mito-chan!"  
I looked at the source of the voice. It was Jin.  
I had never been so happy in my life. Jin was back. Maybe we could return the happiness that we used to have, before everything bad happened.  
"Jin!" I called. He ran towards me. I ran towards him, too. Unfortunately, I tripped over a stone on the dirt road before I could even reach him.  
Jin laughed as he ran to me. He helped me up before I could even stand up. I looked at his fave with eagerness.  
He still had the same bright eyes and the kind smile. His skin color gre a bit darker, though. Dirt stains were on his face. His clothes were ripped in some parts. He had tiny scars on different parts of his body.   
He still had his fishing rod with him. The straw hat was gone, and his backpack was mising one strap.  
"Tadaima," he said.  
"Okaeri!" I replied with tears. I thought I hated him, but my joy overcame my emotion. I cried with joy and dug my face into his chest.  
He wrapped his arms around me and patted my head. "Don't worry, I'm home."  
I lifted my head from his chest and nodded.  
We stood up, and we walked to out bar.  
"Where's Maya?" he asked. This time, I wasn't jealous. I didn't mind. I was too overjoyed that he was home.  
"She's in the bar. Mother is teaching her how to manage it."  
"Really?" he asked with a smile. "How about Hisoka?"  
Fortunately enough, I opened the door to our bar before I could even open my mouth to answer.  
Maya, who had been waiting in the counter saw the door open to reveal Jin. Jin saw her, too.  
She didn't speak a word. At first, there was only a shocked look on her face, then teard flowed from her eyes. She put her hand on her mouth. She kinda looked funny because she seemed to have seen a ghost.  
"Hello, Maya," Jin said. He walked towards her. Maya opened the counter. She couldn't contain herself, and ran towards Jin. She didn't trip over like I did, though.  
She hugged Jin and cried. I saw Jin blush a bit.  
"You're home!" May said in between gasps. "How could you leave m-me, I mean, us like that?"  
Jin hugged her back. "Gomen. Maya," he said. She didn't respond. She continued to cry on him like he was a handkerchief. It went on like this for several minutes, until Jin pulled out something from his pocket.  
It was a small object wrapped in beautiful silver paper. He gently pushed Maya away. She did, although a bit puzzled.  
"Belated happy, happy, happy bitrthday, Maya," he said. He handed her the silver package.  
Maya took the package. She looked at Jin, her eyes wtill brimming with tears.  
"Open it."  
I was still by the door. I stood on my tiptoes to see what it was.  
It was an open green choker with what seemed like an emerald gem at both ends. It was simple, yet beautiful, just as the flower wreath had been.   
Maya drew her breath in surprise.  
"Wait," Jin said, then took the choker form Maya's hands. He gently put it on her neck.  
"Perfect."  
"You're perfect," Maya replied. She once again wrapped her arms around him. Jin blushed even harder. She continued to cry. Maya whispered something to Jin, and then he blushed even harder. I giggled a bit. Jin heard it, and he looked at me with eyes pleading to stop giggling like that. I nodded and went outside.  
I was very happy that day. I went outside and sort of danced as I walked home. For the first time, I wasn't jealous of Maya. I was just happy; happy that, at last, Jin was home.  
The next day, our family along with Jin's gathered at our bar. Everybody in the village knoew that Jin Freecs was back, and that he passed the Hunter Exam.  
We were on one of the tables. Maya and Jin sat beside each other.  
"I was the only one who passed," Jin said shyly.  
A shy Jin? I giggled to myself. At least he wasn't bragging.  
"How long are you going to stay?" Mother asked.  
"Maybe for a month or so," he replied.  
Our hopes, which had been rising a bit, fell. I thought Jin wasn't going to leave again  
"But I'll come back," Jin said.  
"Oh, you surely will," his father said, and gave him a pat on the back. "We're proud of you, son."  
"Thanks," Jin said, blushing.  
"Seems you lost a bit of your arrogance when you took that exam," Maya joked. Jin blushed even harder. We all laughed.  
He changed the topic. "Where's Hisoka?"  
We all grew quiet. Nobody in the bar right then didn't have the guts to tell him about what happened to his best friend.  
"What's the matter?" he asked. "Did something wrong happen to Hisoka?" He stood up to ask us all.  
Maya began to talk. "Hisoka... he's not here anymore."  
"What do you mean, Maya?" Jin asked.   
"He killed... his father... the night... you left..."  
Jin's hands started to tremble. "Impossible."  
Tears started to fall from my eyes. I remembered Hisoka. Jin had come home. When would he?  
"He was brought to trial, but we never found out what happened to him," my father continued with the story. A month has passed since then."  
"Why did Hisoka kill his father?" Jin asked, still not believing his ears.   
"Teren didn't allow him to become a Hunter. They got into a fight. They got into an argument, after which Teren beat Hisoka. What happened next was beyond our comprehension. We couldn't understand why and how Hisoka killed his father," Mr. Freecs said.  
"K'so!" Jin said, punching the table. A small crack formed with the impact.  
"We couldn't do anything," Maya added.  
Jin suddenly left the table and walked to the door. He seemed furious.  
"Oi, Jin!" his father called. "Where do you think you're going?"  
"To town!" Jin angrily declared. "I'm going to find out what happened to him!"  
"Jin!" his father called, but he was gone.  
We wondered how Jin could find out about Hisoka when even adults couldn't even get a sip of information from the authorities. We waited anxiously. He arrived late in the afternoon. I was waiting at the doorstep of the bar.  
"What happened?" I asked Jin.  
"I found out a few things," he said. His voice was without a definite emotion in it. It was like a mix of anger and sorrow. "Where're the adults?"  
"Inside," I answered. I opened the door and led him in.  
"What did you find out?" his father asked.  
Jin took a deep breath and began. "The guards wouldn't let me talk with the judge at first, but I showed them my license card."  
I shook in my seat. He sounded too serious, as if soemthing terrible did happen to Hisoka. I was worried.  
"Hisoka's sentence was to serve in a jail for juveniles in Badokia for 15 years, or a fine of 500,000 gennies to be paid by any relative from the third degree."  
We all sucked in our breaths. Jin continued.  
"Just a day after the sentence was declared, a man named Herold Zard paid for Hisoka's fine. This man was in now way related to Hisoka, but he was offered thrice the original bail, and was threatened as well. He had no choice but to give in."  
"I tried to look for this Herald Zard in the Hunter database. It turned out that this guy's a Hunter himself, with a double-star license. My card couldn't access information about him."  
I was a bit confused with the double-star stuff. Jin later explained to me that double-star hunters were ones who gianed extra privileges because they have specialized in two Hunter areas, like the blacklist and the gourmet. I didn't understand very well, but I had an idea on what he meant.  
"So, what are you planning now?" his father asked.  
Jin clenched his fists. "I'm not going to let this pass. I'm going to find Hisoka."  
"You're still a foolish brat," his father said. "You can't even access information on this Zard guy."  
"That's easy. All I have to do is to be a double-star Hunter, myself."  
"Idiot. And how long will that take?"  
"A few years, perhaps, but I will. I'll become a double-star Hunter and look for Hisoka."  
Maya looked at him worriedly.  
"It's useless talking with you!" his father angrily said. "It's enought that you have that license."  
"But I have to know where Hisoka is!" Jin looked down on the floor. His voice softened. "And besides, it's my fault that he wanted to become a Hunter. I was the one who convinced him in the first place."  
"Baka! It's not your fault!" his mother cried. "You never expeced it to happen. All youw anted was to fulfill your dreams with your friend!"  
Jin remained quiet. Slowly, I saw tears form around his eyes. I watched the first drop fall on the wooden floor.   
Instead of staying for one month, Jin bought a ticket to Kihara due to set sail in three days. Kihara was a desolate northern island where he first thought he could work. He wanted to leave sooner, but since Kujira was a bit isolated from the mainland, ships took a long while to   
come back.  
He spent most of those three days in the forest, alone. He was truly serious about finding Hisoka, his best friend. Usually, he sat by the river, fishing while thinking. From nearby, Maya watched him, worriedly. When she went home, she was crying.  
I tried to forget the fact that Jin would be leaving in three days, and tried to spend as much time with him as possible. The only problem was, he avoided me. Whenever I followed him, he would disappear. Maya always found him by the river but she told me not to bother Jin.  
I went to bed early at Jin's second night. He would be leaving early tomorrow morning. I certainly didn't want to miss his departure.   
I tossed and turn under the covers. I couldn't bring myself to sleep. There were many things bothering me. I wanted to kill that Herold Zard for taking Hisoka away from us. I just hoped then that Jin would be able to find him soon. Even if his father said he couldn't, I believed he would and he could. After all, he was the only one who could find me in the forest.  
The sounds of the night were very much alive. It was dark outside, for there was no moon. So I was pretty much surprised when I heard voices enar our backyard.  
The voices came from Jin and Maya.  
"Why do you have to leave again?" Maya asked. Of course, there was a sad tone in her voice.  
"I have to find Hisoka, I told you that already," Jin answered, a bit exasperated.  
"But you'd leave in a a month even if you weren't going to find him. Why do you have to?"  
"Um, ambition, I guess... I really don't know. It's like, something's calling me out there."  
"Do you truly want to answer that call?"  
Jin didn't answer for a while.   
"Do you really want to?" Maya repeated her question.  
"I-I w-want to..."   
"You don't sound too sure."  
"I don't know. I want to go out there, but I don't wanna leave this place, either, Maya."  
"So, if Hisoka wasn't missing, you really won't leave."  
"I still would, but..." He sounded as if he can't say something.  
"But what?"   
"Aahh... never mind."  
Silence...  
"But I promise, I'll go back here right after I find Hisoka."  
"I know."  
I lost the thread of conversation. I fell asleep in my room, which may have been good. Listening to other people's conversations wasn't the best hobby for an eight-year-old girl. I lay peacefully in bed and had dreams only little girls are supposed to have.  
Jin left the next morning, wiht his fishing rod in hand. Nobody expected him to bring Hisoka back, but I watched with hopeful eyes as the ship to Kihara made its way through the seas.  
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~tsuzuku~  
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p.s. sucks, ne? i have a feeling it's starting to drag... is it? or is it too fast? i can never judge my own fics. i'm such an idiot. ahh... maybe two chapters more and this is over. i can finally start on a new one. aahh.. thank god...  
  
eniweiz, ja!  
kikiam-sama  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .   
. . . h o t a r u . . .   
http://kikiam.envy.nu/  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .   
"The day hasn't dawned when I'd be happy to hug a man. Don't jump around like that."  
-Hiko Seijurou 


	4. My Sister's Promise

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Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) 4/?  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-7  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
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Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter four   
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It took Jin eight long years to return to Kujira. Time flew by slowly during those years. Jin didn't call or write to us even once. We weren't worried, though. Jin was in no way going to break his promise.  
He was indeed striving hard to become a double-star Hunter. He became famous with different deeds he performed for the island of Kihara. He revived the great forest that the isalnnd was once famous for. He re-discovered the lost species of double-headed wolves that can only be found there. Aside from that, he worked hard to once again inrease the population of that species.  
There are more deeds written on his list. He is pretty amazing. He was able to do all of this by age twenty. We never heard that he became a double-star Hunter, though.  
Eight years is indeed a long time. It is enough to change a person completely. I'm not talking about myself or Jin, I mean Maya.   
We all knew Maya as a cheerful and kind person. I couldn't say she changed into the exact opposite. Maybe just partly, I don't know. Anyhow, Jin wouldn't have liked it.   
I knew my sister as someone who cheers me up when I am sad, one who comforts me when I feel troubled, one who helps me stand up after tripping over a rock in the forest. But during those sad eight years that I needed her most, she drowned in her own tears. She took Jin's departure too much. No longer did I see her eternally smiling face, but I see one without expression or no definite emotion. As a matter of fact, she was the one who needed to be cheered up. I was disgusted. As I grew into a teenager, I became ashamed because of her ignorance of the current trends in the village, like the latest brand of clothes or the date of the upcoming dance.  
There were many suitors as well. It's undeniable that Maya was one of the prettiest girls in the village. Because of that, almost every guy fell for her. Flowers, chocolates and flattering words, found their way to our living room, but never to Maya's heart.  
Of course, she had Jin in her mind and heart that she turned down all of these guys, leaving them with broken hearts. Fortunately, none of them were really affected. Their feeling for Maya was just a light infatuation, nothing really serious. It affected her reputation, though.  
Everybody knew why Maya rejected all of her suitors. It was Jin, of course. But he wasn't even there. They had a feeling that it would take a long time for Jin to come back. Some even thought he would never return. It was impossible for someone like him not to have a girlfriend, in all the things that he was doing. The chances of an encounter with a possible girl was more than a hundred percent. That was why most thought that Maya had become a hopeless dreamer.   
I was proud to say that I had my own suitors, too, especially when I entered my teens. I didn't turn all of them down, though. I entertained them, and in fact I said yes to some of them. But just like most teen relationships, I broke up with them after a few months. It was fun to play with their feelings, but they never did me any good. In fact, those relationships only started the foundation of a thick wall between me and Maya.  
I was known as Mito, the chic and hip girl, while Maya was known as the sullen and hopeless dreamer.   
While I went to parties during late Friday nights, Maya stayed home, curled up in her bed, reading a book. If I went to the mall in downtown Kujira, she would sit in the fields, making a flower wreath or knitting. I cut my hair up to my shoulders while she kept the length of hers by her waist. My skirt went up to my knees, while hers remained at her ankles.  
My other friends tried to hide the fact that my sister was strange to them, but failed. I heard them talking about it. We were in a party. I left the table for the washroom. When I came back, they were already hissing and giggling about my sister.  
"Mito-chan's sister is really pretty."  
"Yeah, five guys have already courted her."  
"And she dumped them all?"  
"Yeah, like, even the cutest guys were dumped, you know."  
"I'm jealous."  
"What's her problem, anyway?"  
"I heard the guys say she's crazy about that Jin Freecs."  
"You mean, the really famous Hunter?"  
"Like, that's so stupid, you know."  
Upon saying that, they saw me. I was hurt, and annoyed. Since then, I had an irritated feeling about Maya. She was making me look bad in front of my friends. Of course, it was sad that Jin was gone, but I couldn't just sulk around the house like her.   
I tried to get Maya come to one of the parties. It was a Thursday night, she was reading a book in her room. I haven't entered it for quite some time. I noticed, too, that she had become thinner, and her eyes drooped.   
"Oneechan!" I greeted as I opened the door.  
"Ara, Mito-chan," Maya replied back. "Can I help you?"  
I tried to be as nice as I could. "May I come in?"  
"Oh sure," she replied.  
I entered her room. It was dark. Dim light came from the lamp shade by her bed. I almost tripped. I managed to sit on her bed, though, just right beside her.  
"Uummm..." I began. "I had been thinking."  
"What is it?" she asked. I felt quite good. Maya and I were acting just like sisters. I decided to get on with my objective.  
"I'm going to a party this coming Saturday night."  
"Yes?" Maya asked.  
"And I was thinking if you'd like to come," I replied.  
I saw Maya blush a bit. "N-no way, Mito-chan. I'm not used to those parties."  
"You don't need to get used to them."  
"I have no special clothes to wear."  
"I'll lend you mine. We're almost the same size, anyway." It was funny. I was fifteen years old while Maya was nineteen. And yet, we were almost the same height and built.  
"N-no---"  
"I have lots of clothes. In fact, you can pick anything you like from my closet." I said cheerfully. "And I'll fix your hair, and stuff..." I wanted to cheer her up and show her to the world I was growing in. I wanted to return the relationship we had when Jin was still around. I thought I hated her, but that was impossible. Even if she was embarassing me in front of my friends, who cares? She's still my very best friend, anyway.  
"I don't think so, Mito-chan," she declined my offer.  
"C'mon, Oneechan," I pleaded. "You're not gonna lose anything when you go there."  
"No," she said firmly.  
I pleaded more and more, and finally, she gave in.  
"Oh, okay," she said with an exasperated tone. "Just as long as we don't stay that late, okay?"  
I felt glad upon hearing those words. I couldn't contin my joy.  
"Oneechan, arigatou!" I almost screamed as I hugged her with joy. I couldn't wait for Saturday night.  
I told my friends about it, and they were excited. They thought that it was exciting to be with one of the prettiest girls in the village.   
Saturday came. I woke up extra early due to my overflowing excitement. My mood was so good that I greeted the trees and the flowers that grew by my window like a child. I took a bath right away, After I finished, I knocked softly on the door to Maya's room.  
"Ohayou," she greeted as she opened the door after I knocked.  
"Ohayou," I greeted back.   
She let me enter her room. I noticed that she was already finished with her morning rituals. She was just probably waiting for Mother to call us for breakfast.  
"Oneechan, let's pick your dress for tonight," I said as cherrfully as I could. I held my hand out to her. She smiled and took it.   
"Iku yo," she said.  
We went to my room, which I cleaned the previous night just for her. I opened the door of my closet and showed her my not-so-modest wardrobe.  
"Sugoi," she whispered to herself.   
"Take your pick," I invited.  
She nodded and let her hands go through the different knds of fabric that were inside. She took one out once in a while and tried it on. Sometimes, we went crazy and tried to combine different clothes, with the wrong shoes and stuff. We were laughing our heads off.  
After an hour, Maya was finally able to pick one she liked. It was a long red dress, quite similar to the one she wore during her twelfth birthday party. My hopes which had been rising, fell. She still hadn't gotten over Jin.  
Maybe she really didn't wanto to come with me. She probably agreed just to please me and keep me from bugging her about it. I looked down. It was a good thing she didn't notice.  
I wquickly forgot my doubts. Once she put on the red dress, I was quickly awed by her beauty. She was the same Maya I knew from my early childhood.  
"Is this okay?" she asked me. She blushed a bit.  
"Perfect," I replied with my thumbs up. "You'll be the prettiest girl in the party."  
She gave me a shy smile.   
"Now, let's think about your hair and make-up..."  
"Make-up?" she asked nervously.  
"Aw, c'mon! What's wrong?"  
"Uuummm..." She crossed her fingers in front of her.  
"Not to worry! I won't make you look like a clown!"  
"Promise?"  
"Promise, Oneechan!" I said. After I said that, she put her pinkie in front of my face. At first, I was surprised at what she was trying to do. It was something so childish.  
Then I smiled. I placed my pinkie by hers and let it twist with hers. We had done this many times before, but not very much during the past seven years. A realization came to me.  
It was childish, but sincere.  
-------------  
It was around 3:00 in the afternoon. I had finished all my chores. It was time to prepare Maya and myself for the party. I was at home ironing some clothes. When I was finished, I started to look for Maya.  
I first looked for her in her room, where she usally reads a book. Next, I looked at the small garden in our backyard. After that, I looked in the fields. She wasdn't in any of those places. I wrinkled my forehead in wonder. It was already 4:00. The party would begin at 6:00. Where was she?  
I didn't notice that in my search I had already neared the forest. I smiled in recollection. It had been some time since I last went there. I recalled my first game of hide-and-seek. I recalled Jin and how he always found me in the forest. Most of all, I recalled Hisoka.  
Where could he be? Did Jin find him already? Is he okay? Is he sleeping well? Is he still alive?  
Worry filled my heart, then I shook it out. Hisoka was only a lost childhood memory. Of course I wanted to see him again, but now was not the time to think about him. I had decided to get on with my life. I couldn't let my memories of him be a burden to me. But why was I thinking of him so much? I thought that I loved Jin. Was it because we knew that Jin was perfectly okay, and I had no idea on how Hisoka was? Probably...  
I decided to get on with my search. It was not the time to dig up old memories. I wasn't like Maya who preferred to dwell on the past.  
I continued to walk into the forest. I was getting deeper and deeper into it. I wouldn't get lost this time, though. An eight-year old girl would, but not me.  
My watch said that it was already 5:00. I needed to hurry. During that time, I felt a little angry at her. Where could she be?   
A voice at the back of my head said that she must already be home. I looked at my watch again and saw that it was already 5:15. I decided to head back. Maybe Maya was already home, waiting for me. She would never break her promise.  
I was about to start walking back when I suddenly tripped over a small stone. I fell hard on the ground. I looked around as I stood up, and thought that certain place in the forest was familiar.  
Of course. It was the same place where Jin found me for the first time I looked around the place. I recalled his words to me, something that was always at the back of my mind. I hadn't been thinking about it, but it was right there. It was a small reminder of the past.   
It was then that I heard soft cries. The picture of a small child lost in the forest flashed through my mind, then disappeared. The cries belonged to someone else, though... They belonged to Maya!  
"Oneechan!" I called upon realization. Oneechan!"  
The crying continued. I followed the sound. It led me to the same tree in which I got lost in for the first time. Of course, she wasn't stuck inside the hole, but she was behind the tree.  
Maya was curled up, with her back against the trunk. Her long red hair was a mess. Her eyes were swollen, and her face was stained with tears. Although her skin was pale, her nose was a bright shade of pink.  
"I finally found you!" I exclaimed.   
She looked at me with her eyes brimming with tears. She didn't seem happy to see me.  
"What's the matter, Oneechan?" I asked her. "What are you doing here?" I looked at my watch. "Ai-ya! It's already 5:30. We have to get dressed for the party."  
She continued to sniff, then spoke. "Gomen ne, Mito-chan..." she said. "I can't... go... with... you..."  
"Why?" I asked in confusion.  
"I... I... I don't know... but I can't go..." she answered slowly. She looked down, trying to avoid my glance.   
"But you promised me you'll come!" I protested. "It's okay if we're a little late. Come on!" I took her hand and gently tried to pull her. She didn't even budge. I pullled a little harder, but she still held on to her position.  
I was starting to cry. I couldn't help it. I wanted her to come with me. I wanted to share with her the fun that I was having.  
"Oneechan!" I almost screamed at her.  
"Leave me alone," was her reply to my call. "Onegai, Mito-chan..."  
"No way!"  
"Onegai..." she continued in between her sniffs.  
"I'm really sorry... I just can't..."  
"You can't what?" I asked.  
"I just can't..." she dug her fingers into the soil by ber feet. I can tell that she was really sorry, but...  
I don't think I can forgive her this time.  
She broke her promise, right in front of me. What kind of an Oneechan was she? I thouught sisters were always supposed to keep their promises to each other. And I know so far, that I have kept all of mine.   
I was angry, disappointed, annoyed and irritated all at the same time. I couldn't understand why she couldn't come, and I never did. It only became a subject of my ramndom thoughts. Was she afraid of something? Was it because of Jin? I really don't know. All these feelings, however, boiled down to four words that finished building the thick wall between me and Maya.  
"I hate you, Oneechan!"  
Upon hearing those words, Maya stopped crying. She remained in the same position, however. She didn't speak, or move. She was as still as a statue.  
"I hate you!" I repeated, then, in disgust, walked away. I swore to myself never to let her in ƒmyƒ world ever again.  
==============================================================  
translations: [corrections, please!]  
** oneechan - a word used to address an older female, pariticularly an older sister or probably an older female cousin. it's the japanese equiv for the pinoy word 'ate'.  
** ara - hmmmm... i just heard soujoro seta of rk say this a few times. it's like an expression of surprise... dunno? any jap experts there?  
** arigatou - 'thank you'. i guess everybody knows about that already.  
** iku yo - 'let's go'. i've also heard ikuso, ikouze. 'ikou ka?' is 'shall we go?'  
** sugoi - 'amazing'  
** ai-ya - a chinese expression for surprise, or shock. i've beenw atching too   
** gomen ne - something like 'sorry'. there's also 'gomen nasai' for more formal situations and gomen. hmmm... i am not sure about its difference with 'sumimasen' though... i use it as 'excuse me'...  
** onegai - 'please.' the phrase 'onegai shimasu' is used for more formal situations.  
======================================================================  
p.s. Yoshi! Owatta! Yokatta ne! [all right! It's finished! i'm so glad!] hah... my fever kinda slowed me down... but nevertheless, i got it out. *congratulates herself]. ƒƒ... i just learned the hotkey for that one a few days ago... i've been itching to use it in my fics, but i never knew how to make it appear on the screen... oh well... aaaahhh... one or two chapters more and i can finally work on a new fic! Yokatta!! comments, please! i wanna know if the fic's starting to drag or what..., should i increase the pace, or slow down? should i use more conversations instead of narrations? are there any grammar errors? is the damn thing even worth reading? please tell me!!  
oh, well...  
  
+ fukuda-kun wa sugoi... fukuda-kun wa kakkoii... fukuda-kun daisuki! +  
  
*continues to cough due to a slight fever*  
  
ja,  
kikiam-sama  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .   
. . . h o t a r u . . .   
http://kikiam.envy.nu/  
. . . . . . . . . . . . .   
"The day hasn't dawned when I'd be happy to hug a man. Don't jump around like that."  
-Hiko Seijurou 


	5. Jealousy

-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) 5/?  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-7  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter five  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Jin returned to Kujira a year after. I never admitted it before, but that year was probably the worst of my life. I kept to myself and to my friends and left Maya alone. I could never forgive her for what she did to me. My friends were disappointed, too, for I told them that Maya would come. But she didn't.   
Jin's second return wasn't as grand as his first, but it was greatly funny. It was a late afternoon in May. I was cleaning up one of the tables in our bar when Jin opened the door, and took the table I was cleaning up. I didn't recognize him at first. He had a piece of cloth around his face and was wearing traveler's clothes which were torn in different parts. I generalized that he must have been a traveler that got lost and went to the lonely island of Kujira. I was quite annoyed with him, but my Mother always reminded me to have patience with such customers.   
"Irasshaimase. What would you like?" I asked and took out the little notepad on my apron's pocket. Nobody else was in the bar.   
"A glass of champagne, please," a deep, hoarse voice answered. I wanted to laugh a bit. The person wanted to buy champagne on late afternoon. I was about to get it for him when he suddenly called out. "Please add some of the sweet raisin cakes you make."  
"Nani?" I asked. I know we made raisin cakes, but we never sold them at the bar. How would this stranger know?  
"I'm sorry but we don't serve raisin cakes here," I replied. "Do you want something else?"  
"Really?" he asked quite mockingly. "Those raisin cakes were your favorite, ne?"  
I was puzzled. Who was this guy?"  
"Your sister always helped your mother bake them." I gave him an annoyed look, then I saw his eyes sparkle. It was familiar to me, then I realized who that weird stranger was. I dropped the serving tray I was holding in excitement.  
"Jin!" I exclaimed almost hugging him.  
"Ahhh... you've recognized me at last, Mito-chan." He took off the cloth on his face and I saw good ol' Jin again. Well, not really, his face changed a lot.  
"You've grown a lot, Mito-chan," he said to me.  
"You too." I raised my hand to compare our heights. "You're so tall."  
"Hehe, and you're so short," he teased.  
I picked up the serving tray and whacked it on his head. "Baka!"  
"Ouch. What kind of a welcome is that?" he asekd rubbing the sore area.  
I raised my nose in the air arrogantly. "You were gone for eight years, and you didn't even write or call. And on your return, the first thing you're gonna do is to tease me about my height. You're so mean!"  
"I didn't know you'd still be sensitive about it, Mito-chan," he said then patted my head.  
"Don't touch me!" I scolded, pretending to be mad at him.   
He laughed. "Mito-chan wa kawaii da ne..."  
I blushed, then slapped him. "Don't try to flatter me after teasing me short!"  
Jin laughed again. For some strange reason, I felt like laughing, too, and I did. It subsided after a while.  
"So, what have you been doing?" he asked me.  
"Nothing much, really. Hanging out with friends, going to parties, you know," I answered. We both sat down.  
"Yeah, that's nothing," Jin agreed with me, seeiming sarcastic. I hit him with the tray again.  
"Aww, c'mon Mito-chan," he complained.   
"What about you?" I asked him.  
"Oh, you know what I'm doing," he said.   
"Yeah, we hear it on the radio, though you were quite rare on TV."  
"Really? Did I become that popular?" He was kind of surprised.  
"Yeah, you didn't know?"  
"I barely recall any cameras..."  
"Baka! You even had some intreviews!"  
"Hmmmm... Maybe I'd been too busy."  
"Sou da ne," I agreed.   
I knew there was something I should ask him, but I couldn't recall what it was. It was at the tip of my tongue. I opened my mouth to say it, but changed my mind.  
"Nani, Mito-chan?" he asked. He probably noticed that I was about to ask somehting.  
"Wait..." I told him. Then, I remembered, the reason why he went off to Kihara in the first place.  
"Did you find Hisoka?" I asked.  
I saw a change in Jin's face. He quickly tried to avoid my gaze.  
"What's the matter?" I asked, starting to get worried. "Where's Hisoka?"  
"Uuummmm..." Jin stammered. "I-I..."  
"You what?" The air around us was staring to get tense. What happened to his serach for Hisoka? Did something bad happen? Why can't he speak?  
"Anou..." Jin continued to stammer. "H-hisoka..." he scratched his head.  
He was cut short when the door opened. It was Maya. The curious look on my face changed to a disgusted one.  
I was annoyed the moment I saw her. I hated being in the same room as her. I forgot about Hisoka and left the two of them alone. They were the lovebirds, anyway.  
"Sumimasen," I said, then went to the kitchen.  
"Mito-chan!" Jin called after me. He must have noticed the change in my facial expression. I ignored him, though, and I went off.  
I didn't know what happened to them. I stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up a bit. After that I went home and talked to my friends on the phone. I didn't mention to them anything about Jin. Maybe because Jin's name could be associated with Maya, and I would ƒhateƒ to talk about her.  
Jin and his parents ate dinner with us, but we were all quiet. My father would ask Jin about things once in a while but that was all.   
I think I know the reason why. All we could think of upon Jin's return is Hisoka, but he didn't have Hisoka with him, and it seemed that he didn't want to mention anyhting either. That was all we had on our minds, but out of politeness, we couldn't talk about it.  
After dinner, they started talking about politics. Since the topic was in no way relevant to me, I crept to the garden. I wanted to breathe in some fresh air after being cramped in the small house with six other people.   
I took a seat on a large rock. There were lots of stars that night. The breeze was cool on my skin. By my feet was a pot of flowers I personally took care of. I picked one off and took a sniff. It was a good way to relax. I looked at the sky again, and tried to make shapes out of them. Several stars formed into a certain face: Hisoka's. He smiled at me.  
What did Jin find? How come he refused to talk about Hisoka?   
"BOO!" a big voice shouted behind me. I almost screamed in shock only to find that it was Jin. I didn't realize that I had been so lost in my thoughts about Hisoka that I didn't notice him.  
"What?" I asked in an annoyed voice.  
Jin laughed. "I thought you wouldn't get this surprised."  
I looked away from him and tried to ignore his nasty comment.  
"Oiya, Mito-chan, why are you all alone out here?"  
"None of you're business," I answered snobbily. I looked at the stars once more, hoping to see Hisoka's face, but it was gone, thanks to Jin.  
"Hey, what's the deal with Maya?" he asked me. He probably noticed that there were hostilities between the two of us.  
"It's none of your business, too," I asnwered.  
"Hmm?" He then sat beside me. "What happened?"  
I pretended to ignore his question and looked concentrated on forming Hisoka's face again. Maya probably told Jin everything, and he was just pretending not to know so he can hear bout my sad, then have us make up.  
"Oi," he called.  
I simply closed my mouth. I was finally getting the face I wanted.  
He sighed. "Maya feels a bit sad. She says you've been mad at her for almost a year now. That sounds kinda impossible. Is that true?" he interrogated gently.  
Once again, I ignored him.  
"I guess that's a yes," he said. "She says she's sorry wbaout what happened, whatever it was, and she wants to say sorry once again. She just doesn't know how she can talk to you, because you always seem to avoid her."  
Everything that Jin said was true. I silently agreed with him, though reuluctantly.  
"She wants me to tell you that. Think about it, Mito-chan," he said. He stood up. "I'll leave you to think of it, okay?"  
I sort of understood what he said, but the face I was recreating wiht the stars finally appeared. It reminded me of the question I had to ask Jin. I was sure that nobody would interrupt me this time. He would have no escape.  
He was walking away when I spoke up. "Ne, Jin, did you find Hisoka?" I didn't look at him.  
He froze in his tracks, and I felt that he grew serious upon hearing my question. He was quiet.  
"Answer me. Did you find Hisoka?"  
ƒSilenceƒ. He spoke up a few moments later.  
"I guess I have no choice but to tell you. Just don't tell anybody else, okay?"  
"Sure, no problem, Jin," I answered.  
He took a deep bretah then began. "I found Hisoka, but..." he paused  
"But what?"  
"I... I... don't know. He said he was Hisoka, and he did look like Hisoka, but he didn't seem to be Hisoka."  
"What do you mean?" I asked. I couldn't understand why we didn't get to the point right away.  
"Hisoka... he... no, I shouldn't tell you," Jin said. "What's important is that you know I did find him. He's alive, don't worry." I heard him take a step to walk away.  
"Wait!" I stood up and faced him, wanting to stop him from leaving. I saw him with his back turned to me. "Why didn't you take him home?" I asked.  
Jin bowed his head. "He didn't want to," he answered. "Gomen ne, Mito-chan." With that, he walked away.  
I stayed where I was and sat on the rock again. My head was overflowing with questions.   
ƒHe didn't want to.ƒ The words echoed in my head. Why? Didn't Hisoka know that there was someone waiting for him here? I wanted much to see him. I didn't realize that during those eight years, but now, I longed for him. I wanted to know how he was so badly. I felt guilty for barely thinking of him during those times.   
Is this how Maya felt for Jin? This longing, and this happiness when I see him smile for me? Hisoka's face flashed once again through my mind, and I see the goofy face of an eleven-year-old boy with pale blue hair and bright playful eyes. I looked at my hands and remembered how he held them when we played in the forest. Why did I feeli like this for him? I only considered him as a part of my childhood memories. I didn't know that he slowly possessed a large share of my heart.  
I realized then that what I felt foe Hisoka was love. Then I understood why Maya broke her promise to me that time. She loved Jin, and she felt that coming with me would make her forget him. Love makes promises, love breaks them as well. I smiled. I guess I should say sorry to my older sister.   
I looked at the stars again. Hisoka's face was gone. Strange. I was in love with a person I hadn't seen for eight years. Call me ahopeless romantic if you want, but that's true. I felt sorry for all the wrong things I had done during those years.  
And even if Jin said that Hisoka didn't want to come back home, I'd wait for him. no matter how long. I think it's worth it.  
-----------------  
I crept back to the house silently, through the back door, which led to the kitchen. Maya was washing the dishes. She didn't notice me enter. I silently walked towards her, thenI tapped her shoulder a bit.  
"Eh?" she asked then looked at me. "A, Mito-chan," she sais. May I help you?"  
I took a step back then looked at her and shook my head. "No, I just wanna say sorry."  
At first, she looked surprised at my words, then she smiled. She put down the plate she was washing. "I'm sorry, too," she said, then gave a smile. She approached me then gave me a hug.  
I hugged her back, then I felt my shoulder getting wet. She started to cry!  
"Oi, Oneechan," I called her attention. "Don't cry!"  
She continued to soil my clothes with tears. "I'm just happy that you're not mad at me anymore," she said in between sniffs.  
I smiled. "I now understand what you felt back then." Upon hearing that, she let go of me and looked at me, puzzled.   
"I can feel it now, too," I told her. "For Hisoka."  
Maya's smile disappeared, then she headed for the sink. "Oh, I see, Mito-chan," she said with a tense voice.  
"What's the matter?" I asked.  
"Oh, it's nothing," she said, as if she was avoiding the topic. "Uummm... Mito-chan, I have to finish these dishes, so maybe we could chat in your room later, okay?"  
"Yah, sure," I said as I stood up, wondering why her expression changed upon hearing about Hisoka. I headed to my room.  
I sat on the bed upon entering and looked at the window. I looked at the sky again and tried to get Hisoka's face into view, but at the moment that I was about to form it with the stars, Jin's words would return to my head.  
ƒHe didn't want to. Gomen ne, Mito-chan.ƒ Why?  
I didn't notice that an hour had already passed until I heard a knock on my door. It was Maya.  
"Come in," I said. She then took a seat beside me on my bed.  
"Hi," she said.  
I didn't reply to her greeting and right away asked the question disturbing my mind. Maybe Jin told her the whole truth, maybe the reason why she had a negative reaction when I mentioned Hisoka.  
"Oneechan, did Jin mention anything to you about Hisoka?" I asked her.  
Just like Jin, she tried to avoid my gaze. "Uum... no, he hasn't mentioned anything to me yet..." It wasn an obvious lie, but I decided not to force the truth out of her.  
"I see," I said, then got a pillow and hugged it tightly.   
Maya gave me a sad smile. The dim light only showed half of her face. "But I'm sure Jin found him. He promised that he'd go home only when he sees Hisoka... and if something terrible did happen, he'd tell us. Hisoka's probably okay, and that's all we have to know for now." She patted my shoulder.  
"But..." I started, then closed my mouth. She was probably right. If Hisoka was dead, Jin would have told us already. I decided to change the topic. "Did Jin become a double-star Hunter already?"  
The sullen expression on her face disappeared as she nodded to me. "Yes. He makes me proud."  
"Really?" I said. "How long's he gonna stay here in Kujira this time?"  
"Oh..." Maya said. I saw her smile a bit. "That question I cannot answer."  
"Huh?" I noticed that Maya was gazing at her hands on her lap. I looked at them too. I realized that she was looking at her left ring finger.  
"A ring!" I exclaimed. "Since when did you get one?" It was a simple ring made of silver with a small emerald stone at the center.  
"Only a few hours ago," she said, with her smile growing even bigger.  
"No way... Jin proposed to you?!" I asked in disbelief.  
"Hai hai," Maya replied, and she looked at me with a radiant smile that I hadn't seen for some time already.  
I thought I'd feel happy for her, but a thin film of jealousy surrounded my heart. I tried to deny it, though. I should be happy for my sister. And besides, I still had to wait for Hisoka.  
I still couldn't fool myself, though. I was jealous of my sister. I still loved Jin, and it made me forget Hisoka again. Why was I like this? I thought I had made up with my sister but this whole proposal thing was making me angry at her again.   
I took a deep breath. I shouldn't be like this. I had no right to interfere with their relationship.   
"Mito-chan?" Maya called me back to reality. She looked worried.  
I looked at her and forced a smile. "Did you accept it?" I asked.  
"Of course," she answered with the smile returning to her face.  
"Well, congratulations," I said. I looked at the wall clock. "Anou, Oneechan, I want to go to sleep now."  
"Oh, okay," she said ans stood up. "Sleep well. Oyasumi nasai."  
I nodded. She then walked out of the room.  
It was pretty early, only 8:30 in the evening, but I wanted to be alone again. I needed to clear my mind and my feelings. Who did I truly love, Hisoka or Jin? If it was Hisoka, then why did I feel so jealous of Maya? If it was Jin, then why am I so worried bout Hisoka? Thoughts, events, and words crossed my head. I couldn't make up my mind. I had to choose, but making that certain decision was tearing my mind and heart in half.   
My mind was terrible. I felt like I was traapped in a cage with bo escape at all. It was a good thing, though, that my body decided to sleep over my troubles and let me dream, just dream...  
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~tsuzuku~  
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translations:  
++ irasshaimase - 'welcome'  
++ sou da ne - an informal expression meaning 'i agree with you.'  
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p.s. and folks, now you have read the fifth chapter of my useless fic 'tooi kono yume de'. I hope you have enjoyed such piece of crap.  
kidding... comments, onegai? maybe the next chapter would be the last, then a short epilogue. hhhmmm... at last! at last! 


	6. A Pledge of Happiness

Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) 6/?  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-13  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter six  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Jin and Maya were married three months later. Maya requested that I was the maid-of-honor. I obliged to make her happy, although I wasn't. No matter how much I tried to fool myself that the whole wedding thing was okay with me, I carried a grudge within my heart. There was no justification for my feelings, that was why I desperately wanted to erase them. It made me worse. I hated the two of them, and I hated myself.  
  
Unbelievably enough, Jin didn't leave. Of course he should. He now has a wife, and three months after their wedding, Maya conceived their first child.  
  
I tried to forget that I had feelings for Jin. Everybody in the village was happy with them. Why should I ruin that happiness for my own feelings? It was useless. I lied to myself that I was happy with what was going on.  
  
JIn fulfilled all the duties of a good husband. First, he built a house for his family near ours. He had some help from some of the villagers, but he did most of it by himself. Then, he planted a small field that could be a source of income. He still fished a lot, and he sold his catch in town to earn money. The couple was fully independent, although they did visit us almost everyday.  
  
As for me, I started to have more responsibilities. Now that the eldest had left the house, I was to take her role in the house. I didn't mind. All the work made me forget about the lies I was making.  
  
Jin made friends with the men in the village and everybody liked him. They sometimes had drinking parties. I looked at them with jealousy I denied. They were happy, and I was not.  
  
Everything seemed perfect until the sixth month of Maya's pregnancy. It was in the late evening. I was throwing out the trash when a strange voice called out my name.  
  
"Mito-chan." It was a male's voice. He sounded as if he was teasing me, and at the same time, the voice sounded evil. I felt a different warmth in it, though. It was strangely familiar. I looked at where the voice was coming from, but it was dark, and there was no moon.  
  
"Who is it?" I asked with a nervous tone in my voice. I tried to hide it, but I knew it sounded shaky.  
  
"You don't recognize me, Mito-chan?" the voice half-teased as it came nearer and nearer. Finally, a figure emerged from the dark. The owner of the voice was a young man, probaly as tall as Jin, and of the same built. However, his face remained hidden in the darkness.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked, backing away from the stranger while I felt for a possible weapon around me.  
  
"Don't be afraid," he said. The back of my mind told me that I knew this person, but I just couldn't remember.  
  
He suddenly disappeared. I was starting to get really scared. I looked around for him, then decided that it was a good time to escape. I was running back towards our house. I had already reached halfway when he reappeared once more in front of me. I was, of course, shocked, which gave him time to grab my wrists with both hands. I tried to scream, but a strange force blocked my voice.  
  
He put his face close to mine, then I saw his eyes. I finally recognized who he was: Hisoka  
  
He lightened the grip on my wrists, probably realizing that I had recognized him. After that, I was finally able to speak.  
  
"Hisoka... you're back..."  
  
He smiled at me, but didn't let go of me. "How have you been?" he asked me. The voice was starting to sound more gentle, just like the Hisoka I knew nine years ago.  
  
"I've been fine... How about you? We never heard of you during those past years..."  
  
"I've been great," he replied.   
  
I nodded, then looked at my wrists. I nudged my hands a but. He took it as a sign that I wanted him to let go me, but he didn't.  
  
"Where were you?" I asked.   
  
"Oh, many places, beautiful ones..."  
  
"What have you been doing?"   
  
Hisoka gave an evil smile which I had never seen from him before.  
  
"It's a secret," he answered.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Here I was right in front of the man I knew that I loved. His face was so near mine, and every bit of my body felt excited. My heart was beating fast, and I could feel sweat on my forehead. I could tell that my face was bright shade of pink.  
  
"Did you miss me?" Hisoka asked. I felt nervous. Why was he asking me such a question?  
  
"Sure, I did," I answered nervously.  
  
"I missed you, too."  
  
I kept quiet. Suddenly, Jin's words ruturned to my head. ƒHe didn't want to. Gomen ne, Mito-chan.ƒ  
  
"Then why didn't you want to come home?" I asked.  
  
"Who told you that?"   
  
"Jin did."  
  
"Aahh... Jin." he said, starting to laugh. "That liar. What is he talking about?"  
  
He confused me. I know Jin would never lie, but Hisoka seemed to be truthful, too.  
  
"He told me he found you, but you didn't want to come home."  
  
"Really?" he asked, with the same teasing voice. His voice was Hisoka's but somehow, he didn't feel like Hisoka. Jin was right.  
  
"You're lying," I said defiantly. I started to struggle against his grip on my wrists.  
  
He tightened his hold. "You think so?" He put his face even closer to mine, so close that our noses touched each other. "Maybe this would make you believe me."  
  
Slowly he pressed his lips against mine, and deepened it into a kiss. I couldn't describe the feeling. It was a mix of happiness and shock. I couldn't help but shake as I felt his firm body near mine, and his hot breath on my face. He slowly let go of his grip on my wrists and let me wrap my arms around my neck while he wrapped his around my waist.   
  
I was enjoying every moment if that kiss. After a few moments, I gathered up my courage to deepen it. I had never been kissed like this before, and it was wonderful. A voice told me to stop it, but I refused to listen. It seemed that my mind had lost control of my heart, which wanted more... more of this passion and affection.  
  
A branch fell from a nearby tree and jolted me back to reality. I quickly pushed him away from me. What was I doing? Hisoka was lying to me. How could I say that it was a truthful kiss?  
  
"What are you doing to me?" I asked angrily. I was starting to boil. He knew that I had feelings for him, and he was playing with them like a ball.  
  
"I was just making you believe me. I think you did."  
  
"Don't make fun of me."  
  
Hisoka laughed. "I'm glad to see you Mito-chan, but I hope I'd see that sweet smile of yours again. Aahhh... You've grown to be such a beautiful girl. I just wish I can taste those soft lips again."  
  
My anger finally gave way. It took control of me. I slowly raised my had and gave him a hard slap on his right cheek.  
  
"I hate you." It was a lie. I was in a state of denial again. I didn't care even if he was playing with my feelings. I wanted him to do ƒitƒ again.  
  
"You're not a good liar, Mito-chan." he said, then started to leave. "Don't tell anybody that I'm back, okay? Ja!"  
  
I glared at him as I watched him walk away. But deep inside, it was the most wonderful feeling I ever had for a very long time.  
  
-------------------  
  
I don't know why, but I never did tell anybody about Hisoka's return. And he was right. He made me believe him.  
  
I threw out the trash every night. Surprisingly, he was there waiting for me. At first, I was surprised to see him there, but after a few more nights, I got used to these meetings. It became an unspoken agreement. Every night, I would go to the same place and then we would sit there for an hour. Sometimes we talk, sometimes he just sits on a rock with my head on his lap. That hour of the day was the most awaited one for me, and it was all I thought about during the other 23 hours. He was so wonderful, not by his words or actions, but just by his presence.   
  
Of course, nobody knew about our relationship. We were lovers in hiding. I didn't know why he asked me to hide his return. I never asked him why. At the same time, I was excited. He seemed so mysterious. He wasn't afraid of doing bad things, just like the typical bad boy girls love.  
  
It was alright with me as long as we met with each other every night. For some strange reason, my parents never asked me why I took an hour to throw the trash. It was weird, too, that I never saw him during the day. He seemed to mysteriously appear only during the night.  
  
Our relationship had bad effects on me, though. I thought too much of him that during the day, my mind flew off to him instead of concentrating on what I was doing. While I prepared lunch for me and my parents, my mind was filled with various images of his face. And before I knew it, I had already overcooked the vegetables. I started to break dishes very often, and it took around three calls before people can get attention. My mother scolded me for being inattentive and dreamy.  
  
"I can't understand what's going on with you, Mito," she said.  
  
"I didn't hear her at first. I was busily daydreaming about Hisoka's stories while washing the dishes.  
  
"Oi, Mito," she called my attention again.  
  
"Y-yes?" I sad, stammering from the schock of being suddenly brought back to reality.  
  
My mother shook her head. "You've been acting strange lately," she started. "Your mind seems to be thinking about so much things except for the one you're doing."  
  
"Oh? Gomen nasai," I said, thne bowed my head and continued to wash the dishes. The bubbles reminded me of one of Hisoka's stories about his frined who got stuck in a bath tub.  
  
"Mito!"  
  
"Y-yes?"   
  
My mother shook her head again. We were just repeating what happened a few moments ago.  
  
"It's already your sister's eighth month of pregnancy."  
  
"Oh?" I said. I was quite surprised. I didn't notice that two months had already passed since Hisoka returned.  
  
My mom looked disgusted. She probably thought that my vocabulary had been reduced to oh's and words of agreement and negation. "She needs help around the house. The baby is starting to get too heavy for her to work decently."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She decided not to comment on my monosyllabic response. "So your father and I decided that you stay with her until she gives birth."  
  
"I see."  
  
"You'll start tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Okay," I said absent-mindedly. I continued to wash the dishes and watch in my mind Hisoka's story about his friend.  
  
The hour I awaited the most finally arrived. He was there, as usual, waiting for me.  
  
"Konban wa," I greeted and bent down to give him a peck on the lips.  
  
"Nice to see you," he said. "How was your day?"  
  
"Oh, it was fine."  
  
"Anything new?"  
  
"Oh," I said, then recalled what my mother told me earlier. "I'll be sleeping in Oneechan's place starting tomorrow."  
  
"Really? Why?"  
  
"I have to help her out. She's starting to have a hard time with her chores. The baby's already getting too heavy for her."  
  
"What about Jin?"  
  
"Oh, he can't be in the house all the time."  
  
"I see. I guess that means I can't see you that often anymore."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Of course, you have to take care of your sister every night."  
  
"I'll still throw out the trash."  
  
"But you can't stay this long anymore."  
  
"Yeah..." I said. He was right, but I didn't want to agree with him. The hour we spent together everyday didn't even seem enough.   
  
"Do you really have to?" he asked me.  
  
"Of course. I have to help my sister."  
  
ƒSilenceƒ  
  
I spoke up a few minutes later. "Oneechan's so lucky."  
  
"Why do you say that?" We were just like usual. He was sitting on a rock while I sat on the ground with my head and hands on his lap. Both of us were gazing at the stars. He gently stroked my hair as the night went on. He sometimes caressed my face or bent down to give me a kiss.  
  
"Well, she's married to Jin and she's about to have a baby soon. And she lives in her own house, independent from our parents..."  
  
Hisoka stopped stroking my hair. The gentle tone in his voice changed. I didn't take much notice of it, though. "She's lucky because she's married to Jin?"  
  
"Yeah. Jin's a great person."  
  
"Don't you think you're lucky?"  
  
"I'm lucky. It's because I have you. I'm just a bit jealous of Oneechan because she's so happy right now."  
  
"Aren't you happy?"  
  
"I'm happy." Upon saying those words, a hard fact hit me. I was not happy. Even if Hisoka was right by my side, I still wanted Jin. I thought that I had stopped lying to myself, but I was wrong.  
  
Hisoka must have read my mind.  
  
"Are you unhapppy with me?"  
  
"I'm happy with you."  
  
"You're lying."   
  
He saw right through me. My heart started to beat faster. My hands were getting all clammy. I was sweating hard. What would he do now?   
  
He spoke again. "Is that so? We'll see about that."  
  
His voice seemed to have lost emotion. They scared me. Was he planning to do something?  
  
"I'll make you happy, Mito-chan."  
  
I was surprised at his words. I was touched. He was still without emotion, yet, the way he said it was beautiful. His voice was a soothing as the night's wind. It wiped away the tears my heart shed. He was so wonderful. I truly loved him.  
  
I opened my mouth to say somehting, but I closed it again.   
  
"Fine, then," he said, and smiled at me. "I must go."  
  
I sat up. "It's still too early."  
  
"I have to go now, Mito-chan."  
  
"Are you mad at me?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
He nodded. He gave me a kiss once more. "Oyasumi nasai..."  
  
"Oyasumi," I said. He walked away. I remained sitting there, and recalled his words. They were beautiful words, and they made me feel like I was flying among the the clouds. He was the best, and I couldn't understand why I just couldn't forget about Jin to return Hisoka's love for me.   
  
I scolded myself. I was an ungrateful and disgracious person. Hisoka was doing all he could to make me happy as I gazed enviously at my sister. I was only making things worse. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just accept what fate gave me.   
  
Hisoka's promise returned to my head. It seemed so good... too good to be true. Was it real?   
  
I started to have a bad feeling. I recalled how he killed his father eight years ago. Hisoka was still a murderer no matter what. I managed to trust him, though.  
  
ƒHe didn't want to. Gomen ne, Mito-chan.ƒ   
  
ƒIf what Jin said was true...ƒ What truly happened back then? Why didn't Hisoka want to come back before? Why did he come back only now? And how come he didn't want other people to know about his return.  
  
Suspicions were rising. No matter how beautiful Hisoka's words were, there was a big possiblity that they were as deadly as he had been eight years ago.  
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translations:   
++ konban wa - 'good evening'  
++ oyasumi nasai / oyasumi - 'good night'  
this is good... i'm starting to use less and less japanese in my fics. i'm feeling too lazy to give more translations. if you can't understand something, just tell me, okay?  
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p.s. that's it! this is the second to the last chapter. [wait, I promised that this was going to be the last chapter, but it isn't! gomen nasai, minna-san!] Hisoka doesn't seem to be Hisoka... He's waaayyy too romantic to be the beloved clown we know. Aaaarrghhh... I'm in one of those moods. Damn, I shouldn't have watched Pearl Harbor last night.  
  
ja,  
kikiam-sama 


	7. The Forgotten Joker and an Eternal Smile

Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) 7/7  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-13  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tooi Kono Yume de  
chapter seven  
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I never saw Hisoka again after that night. It bothered me a lot. Did I hurt his feelings? I almost cried at the thought of him hating me. It was enough that I hated myself.  
  
I never had time to think about it, though. Truly enough, my life with Maya was busy. I had to do most of the chores in their house. She had a big load, and the local doctor said that she'll probably have twins. It could possibly have been perfect, if only ƒitƒ never struck.  
  
A few days after I moved in, some villagers became seriously ill. They fell sick with high fever. The disease turned the skin color of its victims almost white. Some had hallucinations. Most of them died within a month after they were daignosed. The strangest charctersistic, though, was that its victims were unable to talk. This disease brought a cloud of darkness to the village. Not a week passed without at least one funeral.  
  
The doctors couldn't understand how the disease was transmitted. There was no pattern that gave a clue on how the victims became infected. That was why we were puzzled why Maya was struck with this epidemic.  
  
I was Maya's personal nurse. Every morning, we would go for a walk around the fields for maybe two hours. Then, I would take her to our parents for her daily visit while I went to the market to buy some stuff. After that, we would go to her house and spend the rest of the day inside. While I struggled with all the chores, she read some books or did her knitting. She listened to music a lot for her baby.  
  
At first, we didin't think she was ill. We went for our walk as usual, and then I brouhgt her to our parent's house. When I came back from the market to bring her home, she was a bit pale.  
  
"Oneechan, are you okay?" I asked her.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"You're a bit pale. Are you sure?"  
  
She nodded again, without speaking. I held her hand, it felt cold. I put my hand on her forehead. Her temperature seemed higher than usual.  
  
"You might be having a fever," I said, and slowed down a bit. When we reached her house, I quickly made her lie down. I got out a thermometer to get her temperature.  
  
"Thirty-eight degrees celsius," I read aloud. "A fever, alright."   
  
She looked at me without talking.   
  
"Wait..." I said then took out a towel and a basin filled with water. I placed a wet towel on her forehead.  
  
"I'll call Jin, okay?" I said. I knew that Jin was fishing by the river. I was worried. The disease was spreading quickly. If Maya was infected, what would become of her pregnancy?  
  
I rushed out of the house and looked for Jin. When I got there, the other fishermen told me that Jin went to town to buy some tools. I headed to my parents afterwards, who in turn, called the doctor.  
  
The doctor examined Maya. He took her temperature, then checked her pulse. He then asked her some questions. Maya only gave signs and nods. She seemed unable to speak. What we feared the most had happened.  
  
"How is she, sensei?" Mother asked.  
  
The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid that she had been infected by this unknown disease we've been having lately."  
  
I was shocked, but tried to remain calm. "How did she become infected, doctor?"  
  
"We suspect that the disease is airborne and she may have been infected due to weak resistance."  
  
"Will her pregnancy be okay?" Father asked.  
  
The doctor bowed his head. "That, I don't know."  
  
We all remained silent. The doctor started to pack up his things. "Please call me whenever anything unusual happens. I must go now."  
  
"Thank you," my mother said, then lead him to the door.  
  
"You must go home by the time Jin arrives," Father told me. "You might get infected as well."  
  
He was right, but I disagreed. "No, Father, I'll stay here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'll stay here and take care of her." I wanted to. I doubt that Jin could take care of her as well as ƒIƒ did. I couldn't entrust her with anybody else, even her own husband. Suddenly, I felt so protective of her. I never really remembered an instant that she was really protective of me, but somehow, I felt that I should make sure that she'd be all right.  
  
"No, Mito, we couldn't afford that even you would get sick." Father was worried. We both knew that the disease was deadly, and there was still no cure. If I get infected, I was almost as sure as dead.  
  
"You're father is right," my mother joined in.  
  
"No!" I said. "I'll take care of her!"  
  
"Jin can do that very well."  
  
"No he can't!" I blurted out. As I said that, Jin opened the door.  
  
"How is she?" he asked and quickly rushed to Maya's side. She was already asleep.  
  
My father explained to Jin what the doctor said. Instead of crying, he went to me and placed his hand on my shoulder with a smile.  
  
"It's a good thing that Mito-chan was with her. Thank you."  
  
I smiled back. "You're welcome."  
  
"What would you do now?" Father asked.  
  
"I don't know," Jin answered sheepishly. "Maybe I'll stop working for a while to take care of her."  
  
"Don't worry, Jin! I'll take care of her!"  
  
"No, Mito-chan. You might contract the disease for yourself."  
  
"No!" I almost shouted. "I want to take care of her! I don't trust you!" I blurted out. I then realized what I just said and quickly covered my mouth in guilt.  
  
Jin laughed. "Of course, you don't." He looked at my parents asking who should take care of Maya.  
  
"I guess Mito would take care of her, then," Father said.   
  
Mother nodded reluctantly. "Just take care, okay?" she added.  
  
"I'll make sure," I said.  
  
Jin looked at the clock. It was almost 6:00. "Maybe we could eat some dinner now."  
  
I suddenly remembered the pork that was cooking in the kitchen. I quickly rushed out of the room. While I took care of things, I heard them talk in the living room.  
  
"Maybe I can check the Hunter database about this disease," Jin said. "Why did this have to happen now?" I realized that his smiling face that he showed me was just a fake.  
  
----------------  
  
Three weeks passed. Life had become terrible. A funeral procession was held almost everyday. I watched them from the windows in Jin's house. As each one of them finished, I looked nervously at my sister, who was getting worse and wrose with each moment that passed by. She was geting thinner and each day, her skin turned one shade whiter. Dark circles started to form around her eyes. She was mostly asleep. When she's awake, I usually read to her some children's books for her baby. Like being unable to speak, she was unable to read because the disease had also caused her vision to become cloudy. In the night, she ahd hallucinations: mostly about her child. She knew what was going on, and she was having nightmares that her child will die. Jin and I could do nothing but to cheer her up with our fake smiles.  
  
Jin was always out of the house. He stopped working even if I was with Maya. He was trying to research about the disease. He knew that leaving Kujira would help him a lot, but he couldn't, not now that his wife was ill in bed. I felt that he was truly frustrated.   
  
It was early Monday morning when Maya finally gave birth. I was alseep on the couch, waiting for Jin, who still wasn't home, when I heard Maya wailing in her room. At first, I ignored her calls. I was too tired. I had been doing chores and at the same time, taking care of a sick person. I didn't really regret volunteering but my body just failed to gather more energy to move right away.  
  
The wailing became even louder. I was shaken awake, and realized that Maya might already be having labor pains. I scolded myself for ignoring her and quickly rushed to her room.  
  
There she was, panting hard, with sweat running down her forehead, and almost screaming. I rushed by her side.  
  
"Oneechan!" I called. Stupid me. I remembered that she couldn't talk. She responded, though. She pointed to her stomach. I understood what she meant.  
  
"Hold on, Oneechan. I'm going to call a doctor." I rushed out of the house and knocked on the doctor's house. It took him around ten minutes to open the door and another fifteen minutes to prepare his materials and call his assistant. I quickly led them to the house.  
  
The doctor shook his head upon seeing my sister. "Please get me some light," he instructed. I quickly brought him a gas lamp from the kitchen.  
  
While he prepared his materials I called my parents to tell them that Maya was giving birth. They promised that they will come right away. Now, only Jin was missing. Where could he be?  
  
I rushed again to assist the doctor, but there was nothing I could do to help. I waited outside the room. My parents arrived soon enough, then I fell asleep. In my dreams, I heard Maya scream in pain. I curled up. I didn't want to hear those sounds. They were the most terrible I have heard in my whole lifetime.   
  
--------------  
  
By the time I woke up, it was already high noon. I woke up to sounds of wails from the room. As I opened the door, I heard the cries of an infant. I quickly rushed to Maya. She was smiling.  
  
"It's a healthy boy, ma'am," the doctor told my sister, then gazed at his assistant. He was holding something wrapped in cloth. He looked at me and shook his head. I approached him.  
  
"The twin sister died," he whispered to me. I covered my mouth in shock and looked at the boy the doctor was holding. "We decided to keep it from her."  
  
I nodded the headed back to Maya, while the doctor talked to my parents. I heard snips of their conversation.  
  
"She lost a lot of blood, and the disease is eating up the rest of her. I fear that she might not survive."  
  
My mother cried. I looked at my sister and tried not to cry, too. She smiled at me.   
  
Maya weakly pointed at the baby boy who was held by Mother. She saw this and handed him to Maya.  
  
The baby peacefully slept in Maya's arms. She smiled, then looked at me. She looked tired, but happy. She looked around, then opened her mouth as if she was about to say something.  
  
"What is it, Oneechan?" I asked and got near her. She struggled to speak.  
  
"Don't speak," the doctor said. "Everything's okay now, Mrs. Freecs."  
  
Maya shook her head and continued to struggle. She made strange sounds that we could only be confused at. She made strange signals with her hands, but we couldn't understand.  
  
"J..." she managed to say.  
  
"J-j-j-i..."  
  
"J-j-j-i-i-i..."  
  
"J-j-j-i-i-i-...n..."  
  
"Jin?" I asked. The father was missing. Where was he?  
  
----------------  
  
Jin told his father why he wasn't at his son's birth, who, in turn, told me about it. A tiny voice in my mind had told me about this before, but I ignored it. I had a feeling that I was partly responsible for it, and it made me carry guilt for the rest of my life.  
  
It was 2:00 a.m., around the same time Maya started to have labor pains. Jin was walking home from town. After all his research, he had found a way to cure the disease. It was an extract from a rare plant called Kilaya, which can be found in Kihara. Thankful of what Jin had done for them, they sent a representative to bring to Kujira some samples of the plant. Because of a storm in Kihara, though, the ship was delayed. Jin wasn't informed so he waited at the port the whole day. The plant arrived at around 12 am. After that, he quickly rushed back to the village.  
  
He was walking in the forest when a card came flying across his face and hit a nearby tree. It barely missed him, and it cut several strands of his hair. It could possibly be an assault, but he decided to ignore it so he could go home right away.  
  
Another card flew by after taking another step. He sensed it and quickly ducked to avoid it. He looked at where it was coming from and found out that they were being thrown by a man hiding within the leaves of a nearby tree.  
  
"Who is it?" Jin asked. An evil laugh responded to him.   
  
"Otousan?" the voice teased. Jin recognized it.  
  
"Hisoka!" he shouted. His guess was correct becasue Hisoka went down from the tree and landed right in front of Jin.  
  
"So, you've finally decided to come back," Jin said.  
  
"Oh, yes. I've been here for quite some time already."  
  
Jin kept quiet and tried to remain alert. "What are you doing here, murderer?"  
  
Hisoka laughed. "I remember when you came to me in Badokia a few years ago. You caught me in one of my blood lust trips..."  
  
"You almost killed me back then."  
  
Hisoka laughed. "Of course, I was burning with jealousy... How did you survive that poison anyway?"  
  
"None of your business. Now out of my way." Jin walked towards Hisoka and tried to force his way.  
  
Hisoka didn't budge and pushed him back. "Uh-uh-uh..."  
  
"What now?"  
  
"I passed by your house just now. Poor Maya was about to give birth..."  
  
"What?" Jin tried to remain calm.. "Get out of my way, Hisoka." He once again, tried to force his way in.  
  
Hisoka threw a card at Jin which he barely avoided.  
  
"You know, Jin. There came a time that I decided to stop killing people."  
  
Jin looked at him with eyes of silent anger. He had no time to listen to Hisoka right now. Hisoka probably knew it, and he was annoying Jin on purpose.  
  
"I came back here around three months ago. I didn't tell anybody of course, except for my dear Mito-chan. She was wonderful. She trusted me and forgot what I had done in the past. I fell in love with her, and I thought she had fallen for me, as well. We enjoyed this, let's say, forbidden relationship, for a while. However..."  
  
"Enough, Hisoka," Jin said angrily.  
  
"Why? Doesn't Mr. Ever-so-kind Jin want to listen to the cires of his best friend?"  
  
"Just tell me if you want to kill me, damnit."  
  
"Oh, poor me, my best friend refuses to listen to me..." Hisoka said sarcastically.  
  
Jin remained on where he was and looked intently at Hisoka.  
  
"Oh, goody..." Hisoka said and licked his lips. "Let me continue..."  
  
"We were so in love. I wanted to be with her forever, and I thought that maybe I should change for the better to please her, and to be with her. I was going to tell her everything on this one particular night when I found out..."  
  
"That she was damn in love with you!" Upon saying this, Hisoka's eyes changed. A while ago, they were that of a clown's, looking for attention. Now, they were turned into a murderer's eyes, desiring for blood and death.  
  
Jin prepared to fight.  
  
"She said she was jealous of her sister! She said she was happy with me but I knew it was one fat lie! Do you know how I felt then? I was so sad and angry. My heart was torn to find out that the girl I love was in love with somebody else! Oh, what could I do to please her? Then I thought, maybe if I killed you, she'd stop feeling jealous of Maya, and she'll finally be happy!"  
  
"A brilliant idea, to kill you, isn't it? Mito-chan would be happy, and I'd finally be able to make you suffer, just like I did. If it weren't for you and your stupid promise to take that damn exam, I would never have become like this! And damn, do I regret that I ever met you. This time, I'll make sure that you regret to have ever met me!"  
  
"Enough talk, Hisoka. Go ahead and kill me. Let's see you try." Jin was guilty about how Hisoka felt, but it wasn't the time to mourn with Hisoka. Maya was already giving birth and he had to be there.  
  
Hisoka laughed. "You must be sooo angry at me right now. Not only am I blocking your way to see your wife, but I'm revealing all your imperfections as well." Hisoka took out a card. "Fine, then. Let's see..."  
  
Hisoka threw the card at Jin who quickly avoided it without any effort. Hisoka threw more at him. None of them were able to hit.  
  
"Ooh... pretty fast. I guess you know that they're all laced with some sweet poison I made myself." Hisoka laughed, then took out a whole deck of cards.  
  
"Let's see. There are fifty-two cards in my hand. I'll throw all of them to you at the same time. Let's see of you can avoid them all."  
  
"Damn you." Hisoka threw all fifty-two cards. Jin avoided them one by one. The more ccards that came, the harder it was to avoid the others. He was counting how many cards he had avoided already. The fifty-second finally came and he caught it between his two fingers.  
  
"Bravo! Bravo!" Hisoka clapped his hands with sarcastic amazement.  
  
"What else do you want?" Jin asked.  
  
Hisoka laughed out loud. "You're such a fool, Jin!"  
  
Jin was alarmed. As he watched Hisoka laughed, he didn't notice another card fly towards him from behind. It hit him and dug deep into the back of his neck. Pain shout trough his whole body.  
  
"What the hell?" Jin pulled it out and saw another card: the Joker.  
  
"Fooled you!" Hisoka said, then laughed. "You're so gullible to believe that I only threw fifty-two cards at you! You forgot all about the Joker!"  
  
"K'so..." in cursed. The poison was quickly taking effect. His vision was slowly getting clouded and the started to feel numb.  
  
"I am the Joker after all... Ahh... Jin, so typical of you, to deal with practically almost everything except for me. I'm here to remind your of you single failure to bring me home... to change me..."  
  
Jin slowly lost his consciousness. The poison slowly spread to his body. He heard nothing but Hisoka's cruel laugh as he slowly succumbed to the Joker's wrath.  
  
------------  
  
Maya nodded. She was looking fror Jin.  
  
"H-he's not here," I answered. I wondered where Jin could possibly be. His wife just gave birth and was struggling to remain alive. What right did he have to disappear all of a sudden?  
  
Many of the villagers tried to find him, but they all failed. I thought that I should go help find him, but it was probably best to stay with Maya.  
  
Maya suddenly started to pant hard. She as having difficulty breathing. Her skin was slowly losing the little color it had left.  
  
"Oneechan!" I cried. The doctor quickly took the baby from her and handed it to me. He checked her again.  
  
"Her body's starting to break down. As I said, she lost a lot of blood, there is barely enough in her body to let her survive. In ordinary conditions, she would, but the disease requires more blood to circulate around her body," he said, giving us a grave look " I'm sorry, this is beyond my control. All we can do now is wait."  
  
We expected this to happen. I desperately watched my sister catch every drop of air. She pleaded to me with her eyes. I looked back into them, and told me this: She wanted to live. She wanted to see her son grow up. She wanted to see me get married and have kids just like her. She wanted to grow old like my parents and live her life to the fullest. And most of all she wanted to see Jin right now, to feel his face, to hold his hands and live the rest of her life happily with him.  
  
Her determination told me to do something. I handed the baby to Mother and talked to the doctor who was taking a sip of water.  
  
"Isn't there anything we can do?" I asked desperately.  
  
The doctor shook his head. "I'm really sorry."  
  
I looked at her again. Her breathing had become so loud it could be heard in the whole room. I wanted to do everything I could in my power to save her. "Wouldn't a blood transfusion help?"  
  
"I don't have the proper tools. And besides, her blood type is rare. We will have a hard time looking for a donor."  
  
"I might have the same blood type!"  
  
"No," the doctor said. "It would take too much time to test yours."  
  
"We just have to try!" I almost shouted.  
  
"No, I'm sorry."  
  
I was raging with anger. "How can you just give up on her? Look at her! She's struggling so hard and you just give up like this? Are you actually a doctor?!"  
  
The doctor looked at me with stern eyes and put his hands on my shoulders. "Mito-san, there are just some times that we just have to give up. Nothing will happen no matter what we do. It will only make things worse than they already are."  
  
Upon hearing his words, I cried out loud, just like a child. I pounded my fists on his chest. I wanted to blame him but it was wrong. It was nobody's fault.   
  
"M-m-ito..."   
  
It was Maya, she was calling me to her side. The doctor gave me a look then I went to her.  
  
"What is it, Oneechan?" I asked, trying to cheer her up as much as possible. I don't know how she was able to speak.   
  
"I-I c-c-an't w-wait for J-j-in a-any l-long-ger..." she said in between gasps.  
  
"Hold on, he'll come soon."  
  
She shook her head, then smiled at me. "Y-you're spirit is admirable, M-m-ito-chan..."  
  
"Don't speak, just save your energy."  
  
She didn't answer me. She just reached around her neck which was covered by a blanket. After a few moments the green choker Jin gave her nine years ago lay on her hand.  
  
"I-I h-have always w-worn this... m-my p-prized possession... It's yours now, M-mito-chan..." She handed it to me.  
  
"Why are you doing this? You're not going to die yet, Oneechan."  
  
"D-don't l-lie t-to yourself, M-mito-chan..." She sat up from her bed. I tried to stop her but I couldn't. She placed the choker in my hands. She lied down again, but her hand was still in mine, holding the choker.  
  
My eyes were brimming with tears, and so was hers. Our parents were covering their faces with their hands. The doctor and his assistant pretended not to care and continued to clean up their things.  
  
"Otousan, Okaasan, th-thank y-you..." she   
  
"A-and w-when J-jin a-arrives, t-tell him that I-I f-forgive h-him a-and g-give h-him my f-farew-well..."  
  
Upon saying the last word, the grip of her hand on the choker loosened. It turned cold. I looked at her face.  
  
Her eyes were closed and her skin was as white as rice. However, the dark circles around her eyes had disappeared. Her mouth was formed into a smile.   
  
She died happily. She was glad that she was able to give Jin a son. She was content with the short time they spent as husband and wife. She knew her child would be safe in Jin's hands. She had no regrets. Everything was forgiven and forgotten for her. My first reaction was of course, to cry. I held her cold hands tightly and buried my face into her chest. I cried and cried. I couldn't accept losing her, my beloved Oneechan. The one who cheered me up when I was sad, the one who helped me up when I tripped over a stone in the forest, one I could talk to about my problems, and one who would give me an eternal smile even if the whole world breaking into pieces.  
  
My world ƒwasƒ breaking into pieces. And there she was, smiling at me in her eternal sleep. She looked so peaceful.  
  
I had so much regrets. Why did I hate her? Why did I become jealous of her? All I could do was cry and cry.  
  
Thd door suddenly opened. I didn't care who it was. I was drowning in my own tears.  
  
"N-no..." The newcomer was Jin.  
  
"She died only a few moments ago," my father managed to say.   
  
"I did all I could to save her. I'm sorry," the doctor added.  
  
I looked at Jin, expecting him to come to Maya. But he didn't. The assistant went to him instead, and handed him the child.  
  
"She gave birth to him before she died," my mother explained.  
  
Jin held the baby in his arms. He looked at Maya in horror, then slowly bowed his head, looking at the child's face. We couldn't understand why he wouldn't come near her body.  
  
"P-lease l-leave m-me alone," he said quietly. His shoulders were shaking as his knees fell to the floor.  
  
Everybody left, except for me. I went to Jin.  
  
"Jin..." I began.  
  
"Please... Mito, leave me alone..."  
  
"Maya told me to give you her farewell before she died."  
  
He looked at me. His eyes were swollen and stained with dirt. His clothes were torn and there was a wound at the back of his neck. "Thank you, Mito-chan."  
  
With that, I left the room. I put the green choker on, and went home to take a nice warm bath.  
  
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that's the ending! too dramatic, ne? many of them seem OOC [arigatou, cielo-san, for teaching me what this acronym means...]. Only now did I find out the following mistakes:  
Jin left Kujira when Mito was only 3.  
Jin is Mito's cousin.  
and many others.  
Oh, hell... this sucks. An epilogue will follow up. More on the funeral, etc. Please, I need comments. 


	8. Epilogue: Atonement

Nobody seems to be giving comments... I guess it sucks, but for old time's sake, I'll finish it up... and go on with my next... errr...  
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Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) Epilogue  
Author: Kikiam-sama  
Rating: PG-13  
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.  
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...  
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JIn disappeared. We left him in Maya's room. My parents waited for him outside but he never showed up again. When they knocked on the door, nobody answered, so they decided to enter. All they saw was Maya's body. Jin and the child were gone.  
  
His father knew where he was, but he refused to say. He told us what happened to Jin, though, and what Hisoka did to him. I was shocked, and confused. I felt guilty at the same time. It was the whole truth about Hisoka. He became a murderer, but he thought he should change because he ƒlovedƒ me. But then, he found out that I was jealous of Jin, and I wasn't happy with him. He thought that Jin made me sad... so he thought... to make me happy... he must kill the source of the sadness.  
  
My father said Hisoka was just like any other psychopath. He didn't scold me about having a relationship with him, and was thankful I wasn't harmed by such a man.   
  
I tried to connect the events and I came out with a conclusion. Hisoka did all of this because of me. Jin was't able to come because of Hisoka. Maya died because she couldn't see Jin. A terrible fact hit me. I was indirectly responsible for Maya's death. My jealousy and my selfishness killed my own sister. No matter how twisted and irrational this sounds, I think this is the truth. If only I accepted what I was supposed to have... If only I didn't feel so sad for something of no sense... There is no concrete proof, or anything that is perceivable by the senses, but only by the heart. I wanted to punish myself, but I thought that I couldn't die until I made up for what I did to my sister, whom I killed with my heart.  
  
Jin's father told us that the child was safe with Jin. He was only thinking things over. There was nothing to be worried about.   
  
"My son says he can't face his wife, though. He asks you to please take care of her wake and burial. He is also very sorry." Mr. Freecs told us.  
  
My father and mother agreed. For the next few days, my parents became busy with arranging things. I didn't want to participate in any of this and they understood, for they let me stay at home.  
  
The funeral was held two days later. It was held in Maya's house. Many of our relatives outside Kujira came. The whole village also mourned with us. There were so many people. Many played cards. I served food and drinks. They all looked at her as she lay peacefully in her coffin. I never did. Everytime I tried, a knife seemed to stab through me. It hurt so much. They told me though, that she was still smiling and she as beautiful as ever. I was content to know that.  
  
All this time, I wore the green choker. I felt that I didn't deserve it, but it was Maya's request of me to have it. It was probably the best thing I could do to make up for what I did.  
  
I was always crying. Whenever I seerved food to the guests, my eyes were swollen and my nose was colored bright pink. They didn't ask me why. It was normal that I'd cry.  
  
We expected Jin to at least be there during the funeral of his wife. I was disgusted. Why can't he face his wife? He had no fault like mine.  
  
The funeral was held for three long days. Nothing much really happened. People just came and went to look at Maya's corpse, but I don't think their hearts were as heavy as mine. Many wanted to look at the baby, whose name was still unknown to us. We told them that the baby was with the father. "Where's the father?" they asked. My parents couldn't say that he was missing. It was shameful.  
  
Maya was buried the next night. I looked away as her coffin was carefully laid in the ground. I looked around me. A sad feeling floated all over us. My mother was crying aloud, while tears quietly fell from my eyes. My father tried not to cry in public but his face was that of grief. I gazed at the trees, trying to avoid looking at the coffin. I saw a figure slowly approaching us. As it neared, I recognized who it was.  
  
"Mother, Jin is here!" I interrupted the minister's ceremony.  
  
My parents and I quickly rushed to him. He caused quite a stir. He was wearing his traveling clothes and the baby was in his arms. Was he going to leave?   
  
"Ah, Jin!" my father said. "Come."  
  
Jin shook his head. "No, I'm not here to see her." Almost his whole face was covered. Even his eyes were unseen. We couldn' t tell what he was thinking about.  
  
We all wanted to ask him why, but of course, that would be quite insensitive of us. Instead, he approached me and handed me the baby. Beside the baby was a small box.  
  
"Please take care of him, Mito."  
  
"What?"  
  
"His name is Gon. I want you to take care of him." He started to leave. "Give him the box when he becomes a Hunter."  
  
I looked at the baby, then my gaze followed him. "Hey, Jin!" I called after him. "Where are you going?!"   
  
"I'm leaving."  
  
"Why?" I asked, almost shouting at him.  
  
"I'm a Hunter, Mito-chan." he said as he walked further. "I can't stay here."  
  
"What do you mean? You have a son! You have to take care of him and raise him! Hey, Jin!" I called but he continued to walk away.  
  
"Jin! Come back here!" I tried to run after him but the baby started to cry in my arms. I looked at him for the first time. He looked so much like his father, yet, a certain gentleness in his eyes reminded me of Maya. The baby continued to cry as his father went further and further. He slowly disappeared among the trees.  
  
I handed the baby to my mother and tried to catch him. I ran as fast as I could, but I wasn't able to catch him. I stood in the forest. No, it wasn't the spot where Jin found me. Life isn't as coincidental as we think it is. I sighed. He was gone. I thought of many possible reasons why he wanted to leave. He probably couldn't stand to take care of the child. He somehow felt guilty. He thought that he couldn't deserve the child after failing his wife. It was also possible that he wanted to blame the child and wanted to rid himself of it. Maybe he wanted to forget about everything that happened. Or he just probably couldn't be a father. Jin was an adventurer at heart. He probably couldn't just stay in one place and take care of a baby boy.  
  
No matter what the reason was, however, Jin was gone. Nobody was left to take care of the baby. My parents couldn't. They were already too old, and so was Jin's father. I was the only one who was able. Did Jin trust me? Did he not blame me for Maya's death?  
  
I slowly started to walk back. I'd be taking care of the baby, no, Gon from then on. I was to raise him, to feed him, and to teach him. Maybe this was the best I could do to make up for what I did. I was no longer guilty, for I already found a way to atone for what I did. I'll make sure to do the best I could and give my all to this child. I know Maya will be glad.  
  
I was back at the burial. I held Gon in my arms. He was sleeping soundly, just like his mother. I smiled for the first time. I was happy. I was already free from grief. I was free from guilt. It was time for me to take a new path and go on with my life and Gon's.  
  
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Nine years have already passed since then.  
  
I drained the water from the tub and went to my room to dress up. I don't think Gon had come home yet. I slowly put the choker on my neck. I looked at the sky from my window.  
  
Hisoka. Where could he possibly be? I still love him even after what he did. It wasn't his fault. Until now I was waiting for him to see me. The time he fought with Jin was the last I ever heard of him. I could have looked for him, but of course, Gon was more important. All I can do now is just wait for him.  
  
I heard a knock on the front door and opened it slowly. It was Gon. His clothes were tattered and his skin was full of dirt stains. He had played too much in the forest again, and he stayed there until after dark. I was happy to see him. I ahd been worried sick of where he could possibly have been or what had happened to him. I wanted to hug him and hold him in my arms so I'd never lose sight of him.   
  
"Mito-san..." he began. He looked terribly scared. He knew he did something wrong. It was good he did.  
  
This was today. All those events were in the past. It would be stupid to dwell on them.I have to move on. What I had to do now was scold Gon for disobeying my instructions that he shouldn't stay after dark in the forest.  
  
Today and the future meant Gon. All those other things... Maya... Jin... Hisoka... they were all the past. But I have no plans to forget all about them. They will always be in my mind and my heart. They will remain in me just like the way Gon will. They will forever and always be in my distant dreams.  
  
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sucks, ne? i finally ended the damn thing. nobody's been giving comments, so i can't really tell if anybody actually reads this... too sad... i just need comments. i really think the ending sucks. by the time i started to write this epilogue, i already lost interest in the fic, but i had to finish it. i've already gone too far with this one... but please, just comments on the dud ending.   
yeah, all of knew this was going to happen, ne? oh, hell... it's just a damn flashback going all over again... oh... @_@ 


End file.
